Hello, Looking For Help But Don't Want Any

[MEDICNOMORE]

Hello, I've been retired for a year now from the Army as a medic. I've been to a few peace keeping missions, Iraq in 03, Afghanistan in 06,08,10. the first Afghanistan was 16 or so months (the extension). I've retired and moved back to Alabama with my teenager. My ex wife took up with Jody during my last deployment and I divorced her during leave. I'm at 100% disability and thank lord for this benefit everyday. I have tried to work but my mind just isn't compatible with the way the world works back here. I don't talk to anyone about my problems since the VA and I'm to worried of losing benefits to get help. It's the only thing that keeps me a float. I guess I'll post my specific problems in the right category if I can figure it out. everything is very complicated to me now. anyhow, Hello

 

[Deleted member 43454]

Welcome.
As per losing your benefits getting help I don't believe that will happen.
I've been to the VA many times in the past and even though it felt shit didn't help any time you challenge the anxiety is a win in my book.
I'm at 70 percent after trying to find a balance outside of the big pharma solution. My rating never changed during the visits for therapy etc.

 

[Sleeping Dragon]

Welcome to the road back, the one we all travel. It's long and difficult, but worth every step you take.

Keep a few things in mind. Be patient with yourself and those around you. You live in their world now, and they will never understand yours. But, there is lots of common ground you can share with those close to you. Never stop looking for that common ground.

You will make mistakes along the way. Don't beat yourself up over them. Learn from them. And, always keep trying. What doesn't work today may be the answer tomorrow.

Take care my Brother

 

[Dan L]

Hello, I've been retired for a year now from the Army as a medic. I've been to a few peace keeing missions, IrUNCERTAINTYfghanistan in 06,08,10. the first Afghanistan was 16 or so mnths (the extension). I've retired and moved back to Alabama with my teenager. My ex wife took up with Jody during my last deployment and I divorced her during leave. I'm at 100% disability and thank lord for this benefit everyday. orld works back here. I don't talk to anyone about my problems since the VA and I'm to worried of losing benefits to get help. It's the only thing that keeps me a float. I guess I'll post my specific problems in the right category if I can figure it out. everything is very complicated to me now. anyhow, Hello

Hi,
I just recently realized something about my anxiety a week ago and maybe it can help. I realized UNCERTAINTY is a cause of it to get worse and any disruption in any routine I created, causes anxiety to worsen... I'm at 70% PTSD and been seeing a VA psychologist for 1+ yrs and worry about them taking away benefits too because it was the ONLY certain income I had since leaving the Army and since my jobs lasted only 3 months at a time. I guess the fear of losing the CERTAINTY of your disabilty income gets in the way of getting help as it has done with me too. Maybe this can provide some clarity for you. I'm anti-meds but just recently got back on Xanax and Prazocin due to uncertainty of my life due to my pending divorce from a marriage of 18 yrs... I have intense loneliness feelings due to this but I make it worse because I developed a routine of retreating away from the wife and kids when they're hanging out at home. It's a no-win situation for them or me. I think maybe my brain structure has changed to accept not being around other people is normal. I'd suggest, since you're only one year out, get ANY job where you're around people, like Starbucks or Grocery store.. anything to keep you interactive with people, Anyhow, this forum helps me vent and feel connected as I just awoke in a panic attack at 4:35am. After reading what I just typed, I'm not sure if this message even makes sense.

 

[Grizzly]

After reading what I just typed, I'm not sure if this message even makes sense.

Make perfect sense Brother. The uncertainty has to do with something about our control. Me I need to be able to control my environment. At least I think I do. When I don't have control, it creates stress. Stress is bad. The PTSD cup then runneth over.

They tell me that humans need to be around other humans. I'm not so sure sometimes. But I do find that getting out sometimes lends a sense of relief. Like you accomplished something.

I don't talk to anyone about my problems since the VA and I'm to worried of losing benefits to get help. It's the only thing that keeps me a float. I guess I'll post my specific problems in the right category if I can figure it out. everything is very complicated to me now. anyhow, Hello

You need to stop worrying about your benefits. It's very hard to lose them. As long as you are participating in some form of therapy (taking long walks, talking to clergy, online group PTSD discussions;)) This is your way of managing your life.

Depending on how long you have been diagnosed, after 5 years it takes at least 2 exams to propose a reduction in benefits. This is the law. Keep a diary of your thoughts. It's really not that big of a deal to worry about.

In the event you get a reduction, immediately find a good VSO. They can submit paperwork to stop the ROB and reverse. Don't delay this as your limited by time.