Sufferer hello, new here, seeking community and friendship <3

[megalocardia]

I'm an adult survivor of a horrible childhood. Not sure what all to share here but I experienced physical, sexual and emotional abuse as well as emotional neglect and high control religious stuffs. I'm finally a bit stable and have been in trauma therapy the past year and a half. I love my therapist and feel she really genuinely cares about me and helping traumatized individuals. I recently quit my job to focus on (trying to) go to college, and that has been really rough. I had ECT when I was 18, so 11 years ago, and it almost entirely disappeared my suicidal depression. I still however deal with everything else; mainly attachment/social issues, emotion regulation, anxiety (!!!), high sensitivity, insomnia, I could go on and on. But ECT did free me from the chains that convinced me I was hopeless and didn't deserve life. I now want a life I love and am just struggling to get there.
I am non-binary, and have a wife who is a trans woman whom I love. I am completely no contact with my family and have been essentially since the day I turned 18, save for some rare instances with my legal guardian, but no one else.

Well. That is me. Oh also my name is Brodie. I live in the south US. I love my cats, this farming game I play, and I'm in school to be a surgical technologist (':
I haven't even looked around the forums yet as I'm massively behind on a project for school, but my wife's new job has her working nights and I am so, so alone all of the time, and needed a place to connect with others. I'm just scared of most people so I'm trying here! Hopefully I will be able to make some casual friends and receive and give support when I have the time (-:
Feel free to reach out and please be patient as I am sooooo behind on school and just emotional and stressed.

PS How do I change my profile picture?

 

[Sideways]

Welcome to the forum! Hope this place can help you feel a bit more connected when you're alone - maybe even be a resource for your recovery:)

Mod Note:

How do I change my profile picture?

This will come with time as you develop a posting history.
Whenever you have questions like this one, use Contact so that staff can address your question quickly and without needing to threadjack.

 

[megalocardia]

Welcome to the forum! Hope this place can help you feel a bit more connected when you're alone - maybe even be a resource for your recovery:)

Mod Note:

This will come with time as you develop a posting history.
Whenever you have questions like this one, use Contact so that staff can address your question quickly and without needing to threadjack.

thank you! i hope so as well!!

also I am not sure what threadjack is but I am sorry! I will use contact with anymore questions.

 

[Tinyflame]

Hi!

 

[megalocardia]

Hi!

hi! (: I like your username!

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

Welcome to the forum! I am sorry that you have had the trauma that brings you here…I can relate to a lot of what you have experienced. I’m a preacher’s kid which is a bundle of trauma in itself.

I like your username as well. I was married to a Greek and am pretty familiar with the language and know that it means “big heart…” I think that those of us who have PTSD have ‘enlarged hearts’ metaphorically speaking.

I have been a member for over 10 years and have been very blessed by this forum and its community. I hope you experience the same.

 

[megalocardia]

Welcome to the forum! I am sorry that you have had the trauma that brings you here…I can relate to a lot of what you have experienced. I’m a preacher’s kid which is a bundle of trauma in itself.

I like your username as well. I was married to a Greek and am pretty familiar with the language and know that it means “big heart…” I think that those of us who have PTSD have ‘enlarged hearts’ metaphorically speaking.

I have been a member for over 10 years and have been very blessed by this forum and its community. I hope you experience the same.

oh man being a preachers kid sounds really, really hard. My gramma (who mostly raised me) was just very very southern baptist and traumatized herself without being able to admit or face it. So it goes.

Thank you so much! I love when people recognize the meaning of my handle. I use it everywhere. I'm in school for surgical assisting and "cardiomegaly" is the accepted term for an enlarged heart, but "megalocardia" means the same thing, it's just not really used. And like you said, PTSD havers end up with such large swelling hearts so often. I'm smiling that you recognized it(: i didnt even know it was greek!

10 years sounds wonderful, truly. I really have realized lately that I need a place of people that 'get it', but social media groups are often not exactly what I'm looking for, if that makes sense. And I am so anxious in person, and even if I found an in-person group it would be so small. I really hope to find community here. Thank you so much for your words and thoughtful response <3

 

[Tinyflame]

Thank you @megalocardia knowing that yours is sweet too! Welcome!

 

[decidui]

I'm an adult survivor of a horrible childhood. Not sure what all to share here but I experienced physical, sexual and emotional abuse as well as emotional neglect and high control religious stuffs. I'm finally a bit stable and have been in trauma therapy the past year and a half. I love my therapist and feel she really genuinely cares about me and helping traumatized individuals. I recently quit my job to focus on (trying to) go to college, and that has been really rough. I had ECT when I was 18, so 11 years ago, and it almost entirely disappeared my suicidal depression. I still however deal with everything else; mainly attachment/social issues, emotion regulation, anxiety (!!!), high sensitivity, insomnia, I could go on and on. But ECT did free me from the chains that convinced me I was hopeless and didn't deserve life. I now want a life I love and am just struggling to get there.
I am non-binary, and have a wife who is a trans woman whom I love. I am completely no contact with my family and have been essentially since the day I turned 18, save for some rare instances with my legal guardian, but no one else.

Well. That is me. Oh also my name is Brodie. I live in the south US. I love my cats, this farming game I play, and I'm in school to be a surgical technologist (':
I haven't even looked around the forums yet as I'm massively behind on a project for school, but my wife's new job has her working nights and I am so, so alone all of the time, and needed a place to connect with others. I'm just scared of most people so I'm trying here! Hopefully I will be able to make some casual friends and receive and give support when I have the time (-:
Feel free to reach out and please be patient as I am sooooo behind on school and just emotional and stressed.

PS How do I change my profile picture?

fellow adult trans survivor here! I'm so glad that ECT worked for you, I've been struggling with clinical depression since I was 14 and while antidepressants did work for many years they have stopped within the last 2-3 for some reason. I'm curious which farming game you play? i play stardew valley with my partner from time to time. :)

 

[megalocardia]

fellow adult trans survivor here! I'm so glad that ECT worked for you, I've been struggling with clinical depression since I was 14 and while antidepressants did work for many years they have stopped within the last 2-3 for some reason. I'm curious which farming game you play? i play stardew valley with my partner from time to time. :)

hello fellow trans adult survivor! I am glad that we made it ECT was not my choice really and it had and still does have memory drawbacks but the depression is just gone! its wild.

I play farmrpg! its a text based mobile / browser farming game and the community is really nice. theres chat areas in the game! I played stardew a LONG time ago and I feel like a bunch has changed!