Undiagnosed CPTSD - seeking community

[leafytrees]

@leafytrees
This is exactly what I do. Thank you for articulating it so well!

And, yes, daily mindfulness and consistency are absolutely key! Learning to stay in the moment is a continual pursuit. But, don't give up, change is possible.

Thank you, I'm dealing with a bit of overwhelm today so this was really reassuring to read!

 

[E.G.T]

Hi everyone. I'm not formally diagnosed with C-PTSD but it's been on my radar for many years and I experience pretty much all of the symptoms and difficulties. I'm so avoidant and socially anxious that the thought of getting a formal diagnosis terrifies me and I've been putting it off. I deal with a lot of toxic shame. I lost my mother to cancer as a teenager and had to live alone with my abusive father, which was devastating to my development and has left me with a deep rooted fear of relating to and trusting others.

Anyway *breathes*. I'm currently re-reading Pete Walker's book 'Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving' and it feels like a warm hug. I first read it nearly a decade ago and it's been so helpful to remind myself of what healthy healing and relating can look like. One of the suggestions in the book is finding online community if in-person relating feels like too much, so it's inspired me to find and join you all.

This introductory post is pretty much me holding myself accountable and pushing myself to put myself out there. I don't find this easy at all but hopefully I'll get into the swing of things.

Hi. I'm a trauma survivor who recently heard about C-PTSD. I was also never formally diagnosed, but I think I have it. This is my first day posting online and I already find it so helpful. I'm also socially anxious, so it helps to post online where I have more anonymity.

 

[leafytrees]

Hi. I'm a trauma survivor who recently heard about C-PTSD. I was also never formally diagnosed, but I think I have it. This is my first day posting online and I already find it so helpful. I'm also socially anxious, so it helps to post online where I have more anonymity.

Hi E.G.T., I'm really glad that posting online is helping you. I understand completely how the anonymity helps, I personally find it very difficult opening up in person. Good to have you here.

 

[beckyblue10]

Hi everyone. I'm not formally diagnosed with C-PTSD but it's been on my radar for many years and I experience pretty much all of the symptoms and difficulties. I'm so avoidant and socially anxious that the thought of getting a formal diagnosis terrifies me and I've been putting it off. I deal with a lot of toxic shame. I lost my mother to cancer as a teenager and had to live alone with my abusive father, which was devastating to my development and has left me with a deep rooted fear of relating to and trusting others.

Anyway *breathes*. I'm currently re-reading Pete Walker's book 'Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving' and it feels like a warm hug. I first read it nearly a decade ago and it's been so helpful to remind myself of what healthy healing and relating can look like. One of the suggestions in the book is finding online community if in-person relating feels like too much, so it's inspired me to find and join you all.

This introductory post is pretty much me holding myself accountable and pushing myself to put myself out there. I don't find this easy at all but hopefully I'll get into the swing of things.

Hello I am on the same journey as you, I am so desperate to find a community of people that understand the lifelong turmoil I have been living in. Now I know what it I can finally stop thinking I am going mad. But also it's a very lonely place to be in. Sending strength and love xxx

 

[Lost in the Woods]

For me having a formal diagnosis was a great relief. I have a neurological condition similar to MS and I thought that was the cause of all my PTSD symptoms and that there was nothing that could be done. Having the PTSD diagnosis gives me hope that through hard work I can mitigate the worst of it. Now that I have a formal diagnosis I have been prescribed medications and this is my first day taking them. What a relief, the calmness is amazing.

 

[beckyblue10]

For me having a formal diagnosis was a great relief. I have a neurological condition similar to MS and I thought that was the cause of all my PTSD symptoms and that there was nothing that could be done. Having the PTSD diagnosis gives me hope that through hard work I can mitigate the worst of it. Now that I have a formal diagnosis I have been prescribed medications and this is my first day taking them. What a relief, the calmness is amazing.

I am so happy for you. I totally understand the relief of a diagnosis. For the last 5 years I have been an obsessive researcher trying to figure out what's wrong with me. My parents always told me that I was crazy and over emotional because of my hormones, or being too emotional or thinking too much, I mean I was told off for thinking too much!! But now I know it was just a child who's needs were not being met and I didn't feel safe or loved in the right way. I was not mad all along. I just had a voice and thoughts of my own. Hope your recovery goes well xx

 

[leafytrees]

Hello I am on the same journey as you, I am so desperate to find a community of people that understand the lifelong turmoil I have been living in. Now I know what it I can finally stop thinking I am going mad. But also it's a very lonely place to be in. Sending strength and love xxx

Hi beckyblue10, thank you so much. I'm sorry to read that you're on the same journey as I know how isolating and hard it is, but glad that there's another person here who understands. I hope you can at least find some community in spaces like this (and I have the same hope for myself if I can just keep pushing myself out there a bit more!) The older I get the more I realise how important it is to have the right people around me but it's very difficult to find that when the traumatised part of me is so triggered. Baby steps I think!