Sufferer Hello Out There.

[Cimerone]

Cimerone was my favorite character from my favorite book series as a kid. She was confident, strong, smart, she didn't always win but she never stopped having any of those other traits. She is the kind of person I wanted to be when I grew up.

Things did not work out that way, I fell into an abusive relationship. I got out but I lost almost everything. Years later, My life is not bad. I have support system for the first time, a healthy relationship, counseling.

I have all this and I still feel like I am fighting an uphill battle. It feels like I take 1 step forward and 3 steps back. It seems like no matter how far I come, I still have so far to go. I guess I joined this forum in the hopes that this is a normal feeling.

Thanks for reading, Hope you have a good day.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

This is quite an usual thing to feel, and though it seems like you are taking 3 steps back, that is probably a cognitive distortion, look how far you got, you have a support system, healthy relationship, counseling... Someone who was constantly going 2 steps back wouldn't be able to have that.

I'm guessing as to the bad stuff you've had happen, you are a lot more sensitive to any signs of falling back, and your brain magnifies it.

Welcome to the forums! I'm really hoping this place helps you, you seem like a person well on the way to recovery :) Sending hugs :hug:

 

[Anarchy]

Hi Cimarone
Welcome to the forum

We arrived here courtesy of all sorts of things that no one should ever experience.

Rest assured that there are people here pretty much 24/7/365.25 who know what it's like from the inside.

One of the things we commonly do to ourselves is to minimise what we went through, and the struggles we are having now.

Struggling, even years later, is normal, but, with help and support, like you are getting now, things do improve even if the improvement is difficult to see at the time.

Welcome
@

 

[Gadgie]

Welcome to the site, I think you will find all the help and support you might need on here, good luck.

 

[intothelight]

@Cimerone

I guess I joined this forum in the hopes that this is a normal feeling.

Yes, it is pretty much a normal feeling around here. :) It is a struggle, but in time you will see the progress and it tends to come one little step at a time.

 

[HoosierGal]

... I fell into an abusive relationship. I got out but I lost almost everything. Years later, My life is not bad. I have support system for the first time, a healthy relationship, counseling.

I have all this and I still feel like I am fighting an uphill battle. It feels like I take 1 step forward and 3 steps back. It seems like no matter how far I come, I still have so far to go. I guess I joined this forum in the hopes that this is a normal feeling.

I'm in the same boat in many ways. In order to leave my abusive relationship (mine was with my family) I had to lose everything and rebuild my life from the ground up. I lost my job, my college career, my phone, my apartment...etc. But like you I had support. And my life is "okay" now. I have a nice apartment. I started school and work again just last week. I'm driving again. I'm in therapy.

But like you, I still struggle. I'm working hard to accept that the past sucks and nothing can change that. That it's okay to grieve for the years I've lost. That the past will probably effect me forever, but that doesn't mean I have to have a bad life. My goal right now is not to be cured of PTSD or completely "get over" my past, but to do my best and celebrate the good days.

I hope you find some extra support and answers here. You're very brave to leave an abusive relationship - many remain in them because they fear what you're going through right now, the rebuild. But you did and are doing the right thing. Hugs.