Help I Feel Like I Am Going To Lose My Mind

[Emuli]

I was diagnosed with PTSD over 13 years ago. I have had my ups and downs. Medication and my support at home has kept me a float. Recently there have been reports in the news of a serial rapist. He has raped 4 women in my neighborhood.. His description matches the man who raped, and tried to kill when I was 14. I know it is not the same man, but this has put my PTSD into a tailspin. The more women he rapes the more I have nightmares, flashbacks, outbursts, and I feel like I'm losing control. The constant stress is so intense I force myself to sleep to escape. I don't use drug or drink. Thank God, but I am having urges to numb the stress. My doctor put my back on Zoloft. At first the 100mg a day was helping.....but now I am at square one. I think I'll ask him to increase my dose. I can't live in this fear. I can't sleep. I wake up covered in sweat. I am paranoid that my family and friends are not on my side. I feel alone

 

[Ofe]

Hi, @Emuli - I just wanted to say that I totally understand. I lived in a city where a major murderer/rapist was operating for a number of years. Everyone was terrified. It changed the atmosphere in the city completely. I didn't find out later until he was caught that he was so close to where I was. We dealt with it (as students) by making sure our homes were impregnable, we didn't go anywhere alone, we arranged, if we could, for male friends to be with us, and we were all paranoid on many occasions. I think it was all justified. Yes, we shouldn't have had to do that, but when you know the reality of what happens when you are attacked, what choice do you have, if you can't go away. If you've been raped before, as I had, the idea of it happening one more time is appalling. The way you feel is completely normal given the circumstances. I don't know whether you would feel you would gain any support by contacting women's services, such as a rape crisis kind of organisation. They might have a variety of services, such as buses for women or women's taxis or even a safe house somewhere you might feel safer.

Is there anywhere you feel more vulnerable? Would it help if someone accompanied you when you go to work or outside the house? When you have covered all bases, maybe you could then started telling your screaming younger self, that you and she are perfectly safe right now, right here. Tell her that you have taken all precautions, and that you need to sleep to manage everything. This is what my therapist tells me to do to stop my terrified selves being on hyperalert the whole time. If you can get sleep at least, you might find that everything else becomes more manageable. Flashbacks are debilating enough without lack of sleep on top on them.

Many other women will be frightened. There will be many survivors in the same state as you. You need someone to understand.

 

[Ucufe]

You kept going back too. Not just her, but you as well.

 

[Iniw]

Opps wrong thread please ignore the above post.