Mckinzie13
New Here
I've been here before. I've posted a little but I've mainly just watched, learning.
Quick backstory, been with my vet for almost 2 years. We have some rough spots, some scary times, but we've continued to hold in there. My guy went thru a period where he only wanted to stay with me. Then he had a break down, moved into his own apartment about 10 months ago, even left his daughter to continue living with me. For 2 months he still continued to stay close to me until finally we were back in order, going strong. I kept my house but we moved in with him where it seemed he felt more comfortable. Everything has been pretty good with only a few hiccups. We've created a life and a family these past 2 years. Combining my kids with his. He is like a father to them.
A few days ago one of his army buddies showed up in town. We knew he was coming and so to give him space I moved us back to the house. His lease is up in Jan. his buddy was going to stay a couple of months and after we were going to talk about sharing just one house instead of 2. They are both photographers and videographers and are working on a documentary here to hopefully sell. No matter what, for 2 years be it in my house or his apartment, we rarely spend a night away from each other. Even when his buddy showed up, he still made time, more than enough even, for me.
Yesterday morning everything was great. I stayed at his apartment the night before. We laid around cuddling all morning. I finally left to go run errands. He texted me and told me that he was going to spend the day showing his friend around and that he would just meet me back at his apartment after. I finished my errands, went back to his apartment, and sat down to do some school work. I'm currently working on my Bachelors in education. I opens his laptop, which is what I normally use, and on the desktop were thumbnails of pictures and videos of his exes....different exes... Right there on the desktop. Now let me first say, I shouldn't have looked. But I did. I was confused as to why this stuff was just up there. For anyone to see. So I left, texting him to tell him what I had found and that I wanted to understand why he had those things there. He tells me that he pulled them up to remove them from his hard drive but was interrupted. Do I believe that? Undecided. I don't believe he has cheated. He spends almost every second with me.
He makes it back to the apartment. We talk and he goes into this long conversation about how he loves me but he isn't in love. That he cares for me deeply and I am his best friend and he loves being with me but there isn't a spark. That he wants to travel and do all these great things and he doesn't feel inspired by me. This is just a huge surprise. I already knew he has a difficult time showing and sharing his true feelings. He can barely connect emotionally. He's told me that he has given more of himself to me than anyone else since his ex wife. I am 1000% supportive of all of his plans for the future. I've always told him I wanted to grow with him and accomplish our goals together. Now all of the sudden he tells me he wants space and time. He said he can't tell me that he knows he wants to be apart but right now he needs to figure out what he's doing.
In my mind I'm thinking that this friend shows up and sets his wheels turning. Lights a fire. That he feels the need to disconnect before he leaves. Am I wrong?
I told him I would give him space. He wanted to hold me before I left and asked if I wanted to take his dog who I love but I told him no. He texted me briefly last night about something stupid. A soda can left in his freezer. Then this morning to ask if I was ok. Nothing since.
I am heartbroken. I physically hurt inside. This is my man. My guy. He is the true love of my life. He has so many issues but I research as much as possible, trying to understand him, I actively work to make sure he is ok. This time is scary. He seems so confident, definite. Remember, I still have his daughter with me. He asked me not to say anything to our kids until he had time and that if he decides that this isn't what he wants we will speak to them together and tell them that we love each other but we won't be together.
I don't know how to do this. I'm not sure what is right. Please help me...
Quick backstory, been with my vet for almost 2 years. We have some rough spots, some scary times, but we've continued to hold in there. My guy went thru a period where he only wanted to stay with me. Then he had a break down, moved into his own apartment about 10 months ago, even left his daughter to continue living with me. For 2 months he still continued to stay close to me until finally we were back in order, going strong. I kept my house but we moved in with him where it seemed he felt more comfortable. Everything has been pretty good with only a few hiccups. We've created a life and a family these past 2 years. Combining my kids with his. He is like a father to them.
A few days ago one of his army buddies showed up in town. We knew he was coming and so to give him space I moved us back to the house. His lease is up in Jan. his buddy was going to stay a couple of months and after we were going to talk about sharing just one house instead of 2. They are both photographers and videographers and are working on a documentary here to hopefully sell. No matter what, for 2 years be it in my house or his apartment, we rarely spend a night away from each other. Even when his buddy showed up, he still made time, more than enough even, for me.
Yesterday morning everything was great. I stayed at his apartment the night before. We laid around cuddling all morning. I finally left to go run errands. He texted me and told me that he was going to spend the day showing his friend around and that he would just meet me back at his apartment after. I finished my errands, went back to his apartment, and sat down to do some school work. I'm currently working on my Bachelors in education. I opens his laptop, which is what I normally use, and on the desktop were thumbnails of pictures and videos of his exes....different exes... Right there on the desktop. Now let me first say, I shouldn't have looked. But I did. I was confused as to why this stuff was just up there. For anyone to see. So I left, texting him to tell him what I had found and that I wanted to understand why he had those things there. He tells me that he pulled them up to remove them from his hard drive but was interrupted. Do I believe that? Undecided. I don't believe he has cheated. He spends almost every second with me.
He makes it back to the apartment. We talk and he goes into this long conversation about how he loves me but he isn't in love. That he cares for me deeply and I am his best friend and he loves being with me but there isn't a spark. That he wants to travel and do all these great things and he doesn't feel inspired by me. This is just a huge surprise. I already knew he has a difficult time showing and sharing his true feelings. He can barely connect emotionally. He's told me that he has given more of himself to me than anyone else since his ex wife. I am 1000% supportive of all of his plans for the future. I've always told him I wanted to grow with him and accomplish our goals together. Now all of the sudden he tells me he wants space and time. He said he can't tell me that he knows he wants to be apart but right now he needs to figure out what he's doing.
In my mind I'm thinking that this friend shows up and sets his wheels turning. Lights a fire. That he feels the need to disconnect before he leaves. Am I wrong?
I told him I would give him space. He wanted to hold me before I left and asked if I wanted to take his dog who I love but I told him no. He texted me briefly last night about something stupid. A soda can left in his freezer. Then this morning to ask if I was ok. Nothing since.
I am heartbroken. I physically hurt inside. This is my man. My guy. He is the true love of my life. He has so many issues but I research as much as possible, trying to understand him, I actively work to make sure he is ok. This time is scary. He seems so confident, definite. Remember, I still have his daughter with me. He asked me not to say anything to our kids until he had time and that if he decides that this isn't what he wants we will speak to them together and tell them that we love each other but we won't be together.
I don't know how to do this. I'm not sure what is right. Please help me...
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