Help!! My 6yr Old Calming Himself With Pain..any Ideas?

[AmyO]

I am going out of my head with what to do about my youngest. He has started play therapy and is constantly being re-traumatized by his school. He has started calming himself with pain. It started about 3 months ago and is getting increasingly worse.

He came out of his room last night scared and bleeding on his hands. He had tore a chunk out of his finger (like pulling a hangnail but worse) that went down to his knuckle and around to the point that I couldn't even see half of his fingerprint. He had blood all over his hands and his face from chewing on it. He even has picked three of his toenails completely off!! I have gone beyond concerned to plain scared.

I put band-aids and neosporin on them and cover them with socks and gloves, but how many 6 yr olds actually leave it on? It has become almost subconcious as he will do it in his sleep. I want to get it under control before he gets any older as I fear it will lead to bigger pain (cutting, burning, etc).

Please, anyone ever deal with some of this before? I could use any advice I can get.

 

[Reclusive]

Gosh, I can't imagine how terrified you must be. I don't have any kids, so I'm not entirely sure how to deal with them. My fiance had a nervous habit of chewing and picking on his thumbs and it got so bad that the texture of his skin has changed as a result, but never to the point of bleeding. The only thing I can think of is maybe to put bitter yuck (it's meant to keep animals from chewing on things, but it works for people too, although I'd read the label just to make sure) on his fingers to keep him from chewing them.... I would discuss it with his therapist, too, and see what can be done about the school. I am just so at a loss - hopefully someone with more and better information will be here soon.

 

[Cthulhu]

Oh, that' s sad...
I did similar things since my early childhood due to stress and mobbing but my parents never bothered. I have psoriasis, so that was the reason for them-end of discussion.
Well, I didn' t bite pieces off my fingers but often scratched the skin so often and badly, even at perfectly healthy places, until it bleeded or finally became inflammated, bit pieces out of my lips, bit the skin around my fingernails until they bleeded and other things like that.

As it is a sign of being overly stressed and overstrained, interdiction won' t help. It just has to come out somewhere and when I stop one thing I'll unconciously start another.
The only thing which ever helped me was changing the surrounding that caused the (social) problems.

It's a good thing that he' s in therapy, but can't the school do something against the problems (bullying?) he constantly experiences there?
The therapy can only try to heal all the wounds he already has, but how can he overcome this behaviour if he experiences new traumata every day?

 

[Heather]

It is scary! My daughter went through this for awhile when she was in kindegarten. I was going through such a bad patch and there was so much turmoil within our family. That the only way she knew how to express her anger was to take it out on herself.

She scratched her face a couple of times pretty good. I was horrified. My therapist got her into counseling before this happened. So, when this took place her therapist was able to talk to her teacher and set put a plan in place. She had a squeeze ball at her desk. Anytime she felt angry she could squeeze it. She also kept a pillow in her book bag and if she felt extremely angry she could go and punch it.

This year when she started 1st. grade I told her teacher about these therapy tools but my daughter said she didn't need them because she doesn't get angry like that anymore:D.

That's what worked for my daughter. She's still in counseling. Maybe it's something to consider for your little one.

That is what she did to her face. Like I said I was horrified.

 

[Phaed]

I wish I had more insight about this for you. I have always pulled off my toenails until they bleed since I was very young. I know that stress triggers it.

You say that he is being retraumatized at school everyday? What is happening at school? Is there any way you can get him into a different school?

I teach at an alternative school and my son attends one. He was bullied at school for two years without them doing anything. Finally I pulled him out of school and sent him to an alternative school. Much smaller class sizes makes it easier for the teacher to watch what is going on.

He was overweight so I also addressed that issue with exercise. I found that when adding an exercise regiment to his routine not only did his self esteem improve but his overall demeanor improved as well. His depression subsided and he no longer cries for his father every night. Exercise releases natural endorphines which are stress relievers. Is he getting enough cardio and fresh air? I say fresh air because sunlight is also good for our mood. I cannot tell you what a difference this made for my son.

Blessings and hope to you and your little one.