Relationship Help Please. Tired,sad And Frustrated!!

[A13]

That used to drive me nuts. I would see the awesome version of her emerge with others, even relat...

I feel as though that's how I will become. How do I prevent myself becoming resentful.
I honestly do everything, cook clean, work, animals,laundry, sort finances while working and I fear that will happen to me!!

Another thing I need to know he's changed councillor and is going more frequently.. if counselling has changed and it's more intense is this not surely supposed to help when recently it has been worsening his moods!?

So many questions in my head.. Wish i could just flick a switch and understand him!!

 

[GrapplingGrief]

I feel as though that's how I will become. How do I prevent myself becoming resentful.
I honestly do ever...

All you can do is keep reading and commiserate with those who continue to live with this. At least you're still in the game. Losing your partner to something terrible from their past is the worst. You never want to quit on them but then end up hurting yourself if you don't develop healthy coping strategies of your own. I'm still very much a work in progress.

 

[queen]

Another thing I need to know he's changed councillor and is going more frequently.. if counselling has changed and it's more intense is this not surely supposed to help when recently it has been worsening his moods!?

Be prepared for things to get worse before they get better. Trauma counseling is a lengthy and painful process. Worthwhile, but a big ole bear of an ordeal. It's opening a can of worms and trying to sort it all out and process through it. So yeah, I can imagine his behavior getting a little wonkier. It's to be expected as a part of what he's courageously doing. All the more reason to take care of you and that includes what you already mentioned (finding people, places, things, activities, etc, to do outside of him/the relationship).

 

[A13]

Be prepared for things to get worse before they get better. Trauma counseling is a lengthy and painful pro...

I guess your right when you put it like that!!!
I really proud of him for going but on the other hand dread this getting worse because I'm already pretty low.
Today I had a better day, I didn't feel just as upset as I had been!!

Just want to take a second to thank you all for making it a little bit easier and sharing with me! I appreciate it and it's really helped!!!

 

[catlover26]

This is tough because you have to figure out what to do for yourself but I can tell you how I have survived. But my relationship has lasted 2 years and we are not married, living together and only see each other 2 times a week. Sometimes I or both of us need that break in between. He is also an Alcoholic and has been sober 30 years.

Our's started out great with lots of affection, going out and doing lots of things together and then it stopped. He seemed to be getting more depressed. I found this forum and learned a lot about his PTSD. I also started going to Al Anon. I think the principles of Al Anon could apply to all the supporters of PTSD sufferers also. Take Care of Yourself first!!!! You can't control the other person/spouse, etc. You can't fix them!!! They can only fix themselves. Al Anon has helped me find some peace more than anything when I was coming unglued. I can only find serenity and have the energy to take care of my life. My Vet has to make the choice to get the help he needs and work on his life and then we can work on our life as a couple. It definitely has been a roller coaster ride.

Find yourself again by doing things you like again. Take care of yourself physically and mentally. Try and keep the focus on you and not him. It takes time. Lots of time. Just day by day.

 

[catlover26]

Are you involved in activities that do not involve him whatsoever? I am a sufferer, but have spent...

That is so important and it took me a while before it finally 'hit' me. I moved to a new town after my divorce and met my Vet by accident and then revolved my world around him. Then things started getting shaky at times between us. It finally hit me that I have no one else but him. So I have had to work hard to do other activities and meet new people. It really takes effort but is essential for your well being!!