Help Please - Triggered And Stressed Out

[Pixie]

Had a very bad day/night. Had to talk to my dad today about some things regarding my past. Couldn't sleep last night, 2 panic attacks later and feeling awful, I got into the zone and did what I had to do with very little result.

I thought I was okay. But then the backlash started, the self doubt and thinking that I must be insane. That what I remember and all of that is just a load of crap.

And then the thing that sent me over the edge, an email from a friend with no "graphic" warning. The sentiment was good and good intentions to raise awareness about this issue but the picture was indescribable and has triggered me very badly.

I was already having trouble doing the distraction thing but now I can't focus on anything. The world feels like it is moving all around me even though I'm sitting. Patting my cats (which usually soothes me) is impossible because of this "moving world" I'm in and the one game that has saved me many time than I care to remember I can't even play because of the rapid movement and I simply don't have the brain power to concentrate enough. It is more frustrating than helpful right now.

Sleep won't come. Have barely slept in 48 hours and the thought of eating makes me feel sick. My head hurts and I'm having so much trouble even typing this out. Vision has gone bad. Shaky and unfocused.

I don't know even why I'm typing this really... it seems pointless but whatever. Maybe... someone can help. :dontknow:

Pixie

 

[onebravegirl]

:Hug_emoticon:Hi Pixie.
Sounds like you've been hit pretty hard this time huh? I think that it is a really great sign that you are still trying to self sooth. Try not to panic because you haven't found the right method for this one yet. There is the important word. Yet. You will. Have you tried taking a blanket and wrapping it really tightly around you-especially your shoulders? It will feel like a strong hug and you can use it as a way to feel secure and more grounded. There is this other thing I learned. Bear with me while I do my best to describe it. With your arms straight in front of you cross your wrists-one on top of the other. Twist you hands around to be holding on to each other, wrapping your fingers in between one another. Then bend your elbows to turn you hands that are held together In towards you.
Press you hands towards your chest. You can do this sitting down and if you do make sure that you also cross you ankles as well. As it was explained to me, this helps the electrical currents in you body circulate more freely. After a few moments/minutes you may feel yourself feel more relaxed. I am sorry if this may feel like too much to take in right now, but if you think you have the strength, give it a try OK? I 'll be thinking of you today, and I will check back in later to see if your feeling any better. You are not alone, and this will pass. Try and remind yourself of that.
Do you know what your supposed to do if you get stuck in quick sand? Float. You slowly bring your knees close to your chest, spread your arms and gradually stretch out your legs. Gradually you will float to the side where you can grad a branch, dry ground or a vine.Sometimes we all have
to just FLOAT for a while.:Hug_emoticon:
O

 

[SunnyBrookFarm]

Pixie -

You are under a tremendous amount of stress. All of the symptoms you are experiencing I deal with when things become "too much". (headaches, lack of hunger, lack of sleep etc.)

I have no doubt that the thought of this conversation with your dad - truly has sent you into a tailspin (for lack of a better word that can come to my mind).

I'm hopeful that the anxiety over the conversation will subside a little once you actually speak with your dad.

Do you do deep breathing exercises or any other calming techniques? Use whatever "tools" you have to get throught this. I hope your symptoms improve soon - the vicious cycle for me is always - no food and sleep = me being much sicker. Try to eat small meals even just snacks if you can.

I'm so sorry all of this is hitting you - hang in there - you can handle this, I have faith in you.

 

[Pixie]

My legs are paining real bad right now. Hubby says it is because dad and I went for a walk for an hour for our "chat". But it hurts like hell right now. Shoulders hurt.

But at least the world has stopped moving on me.

I feel so sick and hungry at the same time. I think of food and feel hungry and then it just makes me feel sick again.

I have put on socks because my feet are very very cold but it isn't helping but I might try the blanket thing or maybe my dressing gown. Can't have anything near my throat 'cause I can feel the attack coming on again but have my paper bag here if i need it.

My legs hurt so bad. From my calves through the back of my knee caps right up to my hips. It hurts...

Pixie

 

[helena]

Hi Pixie,

So sorry you are going through such a bad time... just try to keep warm and the aches and pains might ease.

It will pass.... you won't stay stressed for ever and sometimes letting it just 'ride' over you without trying to fight it too much can help.

Hope you feel better soon, take care

helena

 

[Pixie]

Thank you Helena and SunnyBrookFarm

I am feeling better today but still haven't slept much (about 4 hours I think) and had a dry piece of toast is all I could manage.

Started exercising again today... treadmill and Wii Fit (for some light fun). Going to go for another session in a sec to hopefully just wear me out so I can sleep tonight.

Hate not sleeping!

Pixie

 

[BethRSA]

Pixie,

The stress makes it so you can't sleep and then because you can't sleep, the stress is worse. It is a vicious cycle.

When you have some time that you can sleep, please take something to help you sleep (if you don't already). It's not bad to do--it's worse to not sleep. Since I don't take anything anymore, even Tylenol PM or Vicks MediNight is enough to just take the edge off and help me sleep.

Thinking of you! :Hug_emoticon: Beth

 

[Pixie]

Beth :Hug_emoticon:

I have some Stilnox that my psych gave me to take but I am afraid to try them again. Sometimes they knock me out and other times, they make it so I can't function but still can't sleep.

I stopped taking them the last time because apparently I was doing some really strange things in my sleep (having s*x was one *tears*) and I'm too scared now to try them again. Plus, trying to wake up in the morning is like walking through an awful fog and it takes an hour or so before I'm feeling able to do anything at all.

It isn't fair. In the daytime, I start to feel okay but then the sun goes down and I get all icky again. It must have been days since I slept when it was dark... but then lately, all my days are simply running together.

I hate the night, not because of the darkness... I like the darkness to hide me, but the head just goes nuts...

Can feel it all beginning again now which totally sucks because if the pattern continues, I'll be back to inconsolable in an hour or two no matter what I do.

:wall:

If I get brave enough, maybe I should try the Stilnox again...

Pixie

 

[gdf]

Sounds Like It May Have Went Well?

Hi Pixie,

If you were here I'd give you a hug. So you walked and talked with your dad and it sounds like it may have gone well? Or as well as could be expected? If there was a positive reaction from him in any form is there any way you can focus on it at all right now? Just keep reminding yourself it 2009 and your safe in a familiar place and that you have friends here who support you. Peace and rest.

Hang with it. We believe you can make it through.

Gina

 

[tryintobreathe]

{{{{Pixie}}}}}

I hope you get some sleep. I know that when we are sleep deprived it makes our other symptoms so much worse! I wish I could do more to help.

Jen