Help with self-medicating

[dulcia]

Have you (or are you) self-medicating? Does it help? Do you want to stop? What might help you to stop? Or....what finally got you to stop? Did it help?

I'm struggling bad with a family member that is self-medicating and then has guilt about it, and he cycles so fast through those too, he's reached the point of hopelessness. I don't know how to help someone who sees no point in helping themselves. I struggled with the same things (at a less intense level), and medication has completely helped me get leveled out. He has tried medications on and off but isn't able to stick with them long enough to get any benefits. Any ideas or advice? I strongly feel I will lose him if this continues, and that is not an option for me.

*through those two

 

[Swift]

Thanks for posting.
I'm self-medicating as we speak.
I hear that happy people don't self-medicate. Or people who are adequately stabilized with treatment.
His self-medicating is not about you he's not doing it at you, he's just doing it because he can't do anything else at the moment.
If medication isn't giving benefits (through non-compliance or whatever), has he tried therapy? Would he?
Also, you need to take care of you.
He may not stop. He may not be able to stop right now, or ever.
Why I self-medicate is because it.effing works. Anything I can do to stay this side of the ground is something I should do. By hook or crook, I will see another sunrise, because the people who love me would rather have me alive and self-medicating than dead. I do it for them, in a way.
Mate, I wish there was an easy fix. I wish I could give you magic words.
Is there an addiction support group in your area? I hear Al-Anon is good for all sorts.
I don't mind answering any questions, however rude you think they might be, that you want answered from a self-medicator.
I wish you luck.
Take care of yourself.

 

[LuckiLee]

Is it self medicating or addiction?

 

[ms spock]

I self medicate with food. Nothing anyone does around me makes a different, it is in order to manage the fear of rape in the evenings. With a huge amount of hard work I am gradually getting on top of it.

One thing that has really helped turn things around, and I have practiced it hundreds of thousands of times is a Self Compassion Break, you can listen to it or download it for free from Kristin Neff's website. It assists with managing helplessness and hopelessness, for me, anyway.

 

[dulcia]

It could be both, @LuckiLee. He's shown extreme anxiety (and subsequent depression) symptoms since he was younger. Has never found a good medication and/or hasn't stuck with it long enough to see the benefits. He agonizes over decision making, even the most basic of decisions, like whether he should go for a run -- he should because he likes running and needs the exercise, but he doesn't want to because he was up late last night and is tired -- and back and forth for so long, that he could have just gone running in the time he spent agonizing over it and been done with it. He drinks and dabbles in other downers (has since early high school), then beats himself up over it -- why am I such a f*ck up, no one is ever going to want someone like me, I am no good, why the f*ck did I do that -- then ends up doing it again. Repeat. I can relate to the trouble with decision making, but since I got on medication for GAD, it's gotten easier. I'm no longer crippled by making the wrong decision. I no longer hate myself for being a bad employee when I have a less than productive day. I can make a decision and be okay with it or, even better, find a compromise that I can feel at east with between the impulsive thing I want to do and the self-control thing. I think he could benefit with some of those things too, but I feel like he's cycling so fast that he (or his brain) can't slow down enough to think any farther than drugs/alcohol > self-hate > drugs/alcohol > self-hate.

Thanks, @Swift. I'm totally good at the moment (mentally, etc). Medicated, therapy, in a healthy relationship. He's not pursuing anything beneficial at this time and he is in a precarious situation (upcoming court date). So it's get it together now or never.....but that added stress seems to be making him come apart at the seams. We had a family tragedy when he was in high school, and he's seemed to turn to Al/Dr since then. He spent some time in an institution as a result and he's never been the same. If he has to return to that environment, he will be completely lost. He will no longer exist as we know him. It will break him.

I was a supporter for years to a combat vet with diagonsed PTSD. He was also abusive and a d*ck. After I got on meds is when I was finally able to leave. But my ex's fight reaction (it was never flight with him), feels like nothing compared to what I see this family member go through on a daily basis now. He constantly analyzes his environment for threats. He is almost always at an elevated state of awareness or nervousness, waiting for sh*t to pop off. He's not a bad human, I just need to find a way to help him just slow down for a second so he can maybe realize that he doesn't have to live his day to day like this, with help.

 

[anonymous]

I do it and it works. It depends on you and your personality and where you are in your process. The stuff I do is much better than the stuff the quacks put you on. I'm much happier and much more functional and if I need a few days off it's no problem. (Try this once they have you strung out on so called 'meds'.) For me, pot is one of the bes medications ever. I have no problems taking days off whenever I want regardless of the frequency of use. Tolerance build up is very slow or non existent.

Is it self medicating or addiction?

Is it prescribed medication or addiction? You think people aren't drug addicts because they have prescribed meds!? Lol!

 

[Esterio]

Hi there dulcia Thanks for the post
Probably more addicts on prescribed medication than on street drugs. Most get started by prescription medications. I self medicate and have for many years started with alcohol, pot, and all other street drugs it was a way to survive. I still self medicate but I left the hard drugs and alcohol behind. I use pot mostly now and it is prescribe for me now but I am in control as to how much I use. I also use a couple of prescribed medications. I am very careful what I take I do not want to be over medicated as I have been in the past on prescribed medications.

Esterio

 

[Freida]

Self medicating is risky. Some people do it extremely well but I think that is because they are doing it for the right reasons - so they can get their emotions balanced out and move forward. Others do it so that they can forget and have no desire to address the underlying emotions. I do a combination - but I keep my doc in the loop with what I'm doing and why

Sadly there is really nothing you can do to help until he wants help...and that means he's willing to do the work. Its the whole horse to water thing. And that sucks. It is so hard to watch someone self-destruct.

 

[dulcia]

Okay, okay, maybe I wasn't clear with my personal definitions of self-medicating and of drugs. So....I'm down for smoking pot or whatever else, if it does more harm than good. In his case (upcoming court date), it will do more harm than good, as with alcohol, considering he is not supposed to be touching either at the moment. So currently, those don't seem like viable options to me, plus they are contributing to the "I'm a f*ck up" mentality, because he knows he's not supposed to be doing either right now and is mad at himself that he still is. So, it seems like he needs something that takes the anxiety edge off without the added guilt/self-deprecation stuff. With that being said.......I feel like CBD oil would do him wonders. I know someone that uses it and she is doing completely, indescribably better. Where I live, CBD oil is not legal, and from what I understand, neither is hemp oil. Does CBD oil show up on drug tests? If so, hemp wouldn't then, right?

And I know all to well about the dangers of prescription drugs. Dealt with heroin addiction in a past partner who start popping bars as a teenager. Hate that stuff.

***********does less harm than good

 

[LuckiLee]

It sounds like addiction and he needs a drug treatment program since he's been using since highschool.