Help!

[Leslie..]

I need help explaining to someone I'm seeing what's going on with me. I can't find the words. I just want him to understand why I'm so back and forth. Any ideas will be greatly appreciated!!

 

[GWhizz]

Hi @Leslie.. Welcome to the forum.

That's a tough situation. It has taken me 5years to open up to my partner, and at that, he has yet to know the full story of my childhood trauma etc.

Can you just tell him you're under a lot of stress/pressure right now and that you'll need him to try to be understanding and patient with you until you can tell him more?

I'm sorry I can't be of more help but every relationship is different and I don't yet know how much you trust this person. I would be quite wary of telling someone everything at 1st until I knew I could truly trust and rely on them. But that's probably just me and my trust issues!

Good luck

 

[Leslie..]

Thanks so much! That helps a lot. It seems like this guy just doesn't understand. Or he doesn't care. Either way, I'm thinking it's over!

 

[Deleted member 1860]

You can tell him that you get stressed easily and need him to be patient with you as you work through things. A good guy will be supportive even if he can't fully understand. I'm 34 and just recently met someone who is so incredibly supportive of me that it's hard for me to believe this is real. Honestly, I've never met anyone like him. So my point is that you shouldn't settle for someone who won't try to understand what you're dealing with. PTSD is unfortunately a big part of our lives and it's important for our loved ones to be able to support us. If this guy doesn't really care, then move on. There ARE more supportive guys out there. After meeting my new guy, I wondered why I wasted so much time on guys who didn't really care----begging, pleading, praying that they'd try to understand. It comes down to their level of empathy. Throw the un empathetic ones back!

 

[Laura 2]

@Leslie
I like your determination to sort things out!
But I'm wondering if this man just isn't able to put himself out to understand. You deserve better than that.

@GWhizz and @Solara have given really sound replies, I agree with them.

 

[shimmerz]

But I'm wondering if this man just isn't able to put himself out to understand.

I am going to have to agree with @Laura 2 based on what you are saying in your second posting @Leslie. I have had many of these in my life - people who just don't want to get it. People who ask when I say I am not feeling well (even after 8 years) 'oh do you have a cold'? OMG how thick! None of them have changed. So if your feeling is that he is a 'not-with-the-program' type, I would suggest moving on. There are many people out there who are much more empathic.

 

[Leslie..]

Thank you so much everyone! All of your input helps so much.