Here I Am

[vintagelady]

Hi I am vintagelady and have been suffering with PTSD for 30yrs only to be diagnosed back in 2004.

I have fibromyaliga/ chronic fatigue syndrome. My PTSD has really limited how I live my life especially over the past three to four years. I currently take pain meds for my fibro and I was taking Cymbalta and Wellbrutin. I decided a month ago to stop taking them because I felt like they were not helping because I have been really depressed for the past five months.

I currently do a program in Toronto at Mount Sinai hosptial the most inpatient time I get is two weeks I need more than that. I also isolate myself quite a bit.

Before this I was an out going person who sang all the time worked as I as a social service worker. I worked with the men who had addictions, women who were abused, even though there story was my story, but I keep thinking I could help others. I know that I made a difference in there lives.

I did very well at this job but did not have my BA so when they got new management they had to let me go. I did that four years I loved it.

I have also worked in shelters for battered woman. I also loved this job but due to my sleeping disorder I could not do over nights.

So now I just stay home on a very little pension.

My husband works full time and has a band so he plays on the weekend and works all week. I spend alot of time by myself. It is getting harder and harder to go out.

Of course my weight is a hugh issue, I have put on so much due to the lack of energy for excersise and when I walk my dogs it kills my legs later, so I pay the price.

Since I became sick my friends have gone away. I have three children 20,25,29 I feel they are sick of me just as I feel everyone else is.

The more work you do on your issue the more PTSD causes nightmares, depression flashbacks, sadness just to mention a few.

Basically I need help.

Thank you terri

 

[angel2write]

Welcome to the Forum, Terri. Hope you find some help and healing here. You're not alone.

 

[intothelight]

Hi Terri,

Welcome to the forum. As Angel stated, "you are not alone" and that connection with others provides a source of strength that is invaluable when working through PTSD issues. There is also an amazing amount of information here that is extremely helpful and covers everything from basic health, relationships, symptoms and really anything PTSD related.

Wishing you peace.
Debbie

 

[cherryblossom]

Hi Terri

Welcome to the forum :)

Sorry to hear how long you have been suffering with the effects of PTSD, also sorry to hear you are feeling so alone.

PTSD can be managed,

The more work you do on your issue the more PTSD causes nightmares, depression flashbacks, sadness just to mention a few.

I'm not really sure what you mean by this, but I'm sorry you feel that way. Hopefully with the information and support from the forum, you will find a way to begin to feel better.

I see you in a viscous cycle, that is hard to break. The only way to break out, is to take small positive steps. Baby steps build into big steps, but nothing changes overnight. You have very bravely talked about several issues here, and maybe you need to tackle each one separately, but changes can be made.:tup:

I will reiterate what others have said - you are not alone. And hopefully we can support you in your journey towards a better life. It's never too late to make changes. :D

Take good care, and have a good read around the forum, and post more when you are ready - there's no rush

 

[nickeldoor]

Hi Terri, I am sorry you are not in a good state of health to manage your problems. I hope you will feel better in this forum and we are all here to listen ... Sometimes it's good to just let go of all your misery... maybe in the form of writing or talking to someone. If you are unable to talk to someone, write it here... i am sure there are a lot of people here cares for you.

One suggestion is that it's extremely important to go out get some fresh air. I used to stay at home a lot but I found this to be very depressing and I always have mood swings. Now, since I am on anti-depressive medication (zoloft), my mood is better and I also go out very very frequently, either to walk my dog or long distance walk. I know you have problems with your weight, have you considered a wheelchair?

Take care Terri and hope to hear from you soon.
Nickeldoor