Hey

[Laur16]

Hey guys

I am new to the site and I am dealing with horrible PTSD. I feel like there is no way out and I will be this way forever. I want to feel better already. I hate the night, it brings back horrible memories of my abuse. I feel like I am just going to die all the time. I have some hope, I want to believe things will get better. I know I am not the only one out there.

 

[Lucycat]

Hi Laur,

Welcome to the forum. I am sorry that you are feeling so bad, but it does get better.
You are certainly not alone. We are all in the same boat. Yes PTSD - and CPTSD - stinks. But with help, support and therapy the symptoms do improve.

I wish you well,
Regards
Lucy x

 

[Laur16]

Hey. Thank you for the support. The worst part is trying new medications and therapy. I hate talking about my abuse, it makes me feel so out of control.

 

[IvyMillie]

I just wanted to say that I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. It would be nice if things were easy to fix, however, most things are a process. However, I think it is so commendable that you are here on this site.

I think acknowleding you have a problem and trying to get help is the first step on that road. Many here can offer you hope. Just don't get discouraged. I don't think there is any quick solution.

It's like any injury--it takes time. If you broke your leg, it would take time to heal.

Keep your hope alive--and you have so many examples from this site of people that have survived--so you can too!

 

[Laur16]

Thank you. I am not giving up hope. My past will not determine my future.

 

[Deaf Global Nomad]

Hi Laur,

Welcome to the forum! On most days I can definitely relate to how you are feeling. I grew up with Complex PTSD, but my world did not come to a screeching halt until about 7 years ago. I went from a successful graduate school experience receiving national and international awards for my teaching, leadership, etc... to not being able to leave my house and being taken advantage of one service provider after another stepping over the lines with me. For the past 7 years, I have felt pretty much how you describe. Flashbacks, flashbacks, and more flashbacks leading directly to periods as long as weeks of complete dissociation.

I am glad you found the forum. Have fun looking around and join in when you feel ready...

Looking forward to getting to know you...

 

[Froggie]

My past will not determine my future.

I'm so happy to see that you wrote that. It is very important that you keep reminding yourself of that affirmation. We all have a choice in our lives and we can change a tragic destiny route to a successful one. Just that phrase shows that you have what it takes. BTW, welcome to the forum. Almost forgot that, I was so enthused by your affirmation. For me, therapy and adequate meds (just 2 pills in my case) were what was necessary to find some equilibrium in my life for what I had lived through. But it took time, time for me to open up, time to really trigger "the monster", man I still remember that day ! But what a good change it brought into my life after that. It will be like that, you have the courage and determination needed to change your destiny.

 

[KP the nut]

Hi Laur, welcome to the forum and taking that first step - introducing yourself.

You will find great support and information here. Most importantly, you are no longer alone in this, you have supporters all over the world.

Lovely meeting you, I hope we will chat again.

Take care
KP

 

[purple butterfly]

WelcomeI am sure you will find the support you need here

 

[Laur16]

Thank you all. I agree Froggie, it took me awhile to open up about "my monster" too. I was holding back for the longest time afraid to feel the pain. Once I started talking I could not stop. I felt so vindicated that I could release the dark secret that I held for so many years. I wanted to let her know she wasn't going to hold me down anymore, everything is finally out in the open. I am free!

 

[Laur16]

Can anyone relate to female-female sexual abuse?

 

[a3a2]

Glad you are here, Laur. Welcome to the forum. With your great attitude and openness, your symptoms are going to fall away quickly. Keep up the good work!