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- #13
Well yesterday was not so good. :(
We found a major trigger and it was a shocking day. He was mean and abusive all day by about 3pm I lost it at him for a minute. I was really cranky at myself and at him. Also I put too much thought into everything. He was unable to be with us. But he did end up comming and sleeping in our bed at 2am.
It is good we have found a trigger but sad as it is something that I feel rips us both off. But at least we now know and can avoid this situation again.
I was lulled into a false sense of we are over this.lol Gosh how quick i came down from the clouds. It was nice up there though.lol
We are not back to square one we are at least at square 5. But we are learning. Accepting limits.
My husband wont drive our 4WD for love nor money. Now this is the car we both chose and seriously he said he wanted a van before we found this car and I was like ok lets look for one. Well now there are issues with the car and I am trying to figure out fixing the car. But I have actually found a van that would be appropiate for us and we are going to go and have a look today at it. Maybe this will be something my husband will like. I did call him a liar yesterday after he blamed me for the car we brought. Not my finest moment but I was quiet peeved that he didn't tell me the truth at the time.
But I have come to realise that the 4WD is a trigger as well. His mum owned a Maroon 4WD similar to ours. GREAT WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT. AHHHH But now I know I am trying to get rid of it. I need a car so I have to buy a new one before I get rid of the one we have. So that is my mission. I feel upset about it.
I feel a bit guilty today as I feel like all I do is trigger him and I dont even know it. It makes me feel a bit overwhelmed but at the same time. If you look at it as a whole it is overwhleming but we aren't looking at it all we are looking at one part so therefore once it is gone that is one trigger GONE. :)
Anyway I still feel hopeful and yesterday was a bad day but hopefully today can be better. :)
We found a major trigger and it was a shocking day. He was mean and abusive all day by about 3pm I lost it at him for a minute. I was really cranky at myself and at him. Also I put too much thought into everything. He was unable to be with us. But he did end up comming and sleeping in our bed at 2am.
It is good we have found a trigger but sad as it is something that I feel rips us both off. But at least we now know and can avoid this situation again.
I was lulled into a false sense of we are over this.lol Gosh how quick i came down from the clouds. It was nice up there though.lol
We are not back to square one we are at least at square 5. But we are learning. Accepting limits.
My husband wont drive our 4WD for love nor money. Now this is the car we both chose and seriously he said he wanted a van before we found this car and I was like ok lets look for one. Well now there are issues with the car and I am trying to figure out fixing the car. But I have actually found a van that would be appropiate for us and we are going to go and have a look today at it. Maybe this will be something my husband will like. I did call him a liar yesterday after he blamed me for the car we brought. Not my finest moment but I was quiet peeved that he didn't tell me the truth at the time.
But I have come to realise that the 4WD is a trigger as well. His mum owned a Maroon 4WD similar to ours. GREAT WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT. AHHHH But now I know I am trying to get rid of it. I need a car so I have to buy a new one before I get rid of the one we have. So that is my mission. I feel upset about it.
I feel a bit guilty today as I feel like all I do is trigger him and I dont even know it. It makes me feel a bit overwhelmed but at the same time. If you look at it as a whole it is overwhleming but we aren't looking at it all we are looking at one part so therefore once it is gone that is one trigger GONE. :)
Anyway I still feel hopeful and yesterday was a bad day but hopefully today can be better. :)
