Sufferer Hi! Any other F/T parents?

Bristol

MyPTSD Pro
Im 36, not a single parent but partner works long shifts so alone about 96% of the time! My constant thought is just what damage am i doing to her, where will she be in 30 years time etc its a minefield!
 

SpookyMumma

New Here
Im 36, not a single parent but partner works long shifts so alone about 96% of the time! My constant thought is just what damage am i doing to her, where will she be in 30 years time etc its a minefield!

Ah I see! I'm not single either but I feel it as my partner works nights. I've had those thoughts too. I guarantee you're doing a much better job than you think though!
Just because our brains don't work quite the way we want them to, doesn't mean our kids aren't ok!
As long as they don't go without and they have love and feel safe I think they're going to be just fine! My real struggle is just not being on his level, when he's super happy I wanna be there with him!
 

Friday

Moderator
Having done both, it’s easier being a single parent, than a parent who has a partner who isn’t there most of the time, or who just sleeps there and leaves.

As there is no expectation (on your own, or others part) that someone else “should” be XYZ, no one to check with before doing ABC (nor to gripe/complain about ABC), nor another schedule to work around. Being “all on your own”? Actually means being surrounded by resources/people, ass covered 6 ways from Sunday in regards to childcare/work/transportation, & your schedule is your own to define. I got so much more sleep as a single parent, just because I wanted more sleep, so I scheduled it & made it happen.

That doesn’t mean it’s better…. Just that it’s easier.

Being a married parent really let me understand why my mother chose to marry someone who was gone 6mo or more a year. Above & Beyond over 30 years of honeymoons? She got her liberty 6 months of the year -and total freedom to raise the kids around what worked best for her- whilst the other 6 she got her beloved, and partnership, and being the center of my Dad’s world. Best of both worlds, downsides of neither. <<< That wouldn’t work for everyone (me, for example, it would drive mad) but I really came to understand why it worked so well for her & her marriage (and why she about lost her damn mind when my dad retired, the honeymoons ended, and my dad was. always. there. underfoot. and. with. an. opinion. 🤣)
 
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