Hi, I Know It Says 'veteran Only' But I Need Some Help...

[spike]

This is difficult because I am unsure how to convey myself.

I am the girlfriend of a veteran (NI and Bosnia). He married young and separated from his wife many years ago, went on to have a relationship with another woman who he had a daughter with. No probs there whatsoever.

However, I think there may be a recurring theme. Namely 'hitting'.

I will admit that I am a pain in the ass when drunk (just ask my sisters). For the most part (of our relationship, and I mean the most!) we get along very well - just as it should be. However, there have been instances where he's slapped me (not punched) (both drunk btw) but a bit of back handing. The thing is he has now taken to hitting himself full on in front of me with a boot/shoe/anything that will cause damage.

I need to stop this stuff for both our sakes. The last time he hurt himself (in front of me and in my face) I asked why. His response was "I get frustrated". The problem is I don't have any point of reference as I will never know what he's seen or felt during his years of service - he simply doesn't talk about it.

I really do love him - he gets my sense of humour and I get his. And he is kind and caring - and does make me feel safe cause he's great with hugs.

Any advice greatly appreciated btw x

 

[JarHed]

Hey Spike

Sorry to hear of your situation. We do have a sister site with a link at the top of the home page here. Our veterans only policy will, unfortunately, mean you'll be banned from posting on the site here. You can still read through most of the forums and they will be helpful for you as well.

Your boyfriend would be welcome here and we'd be glad to listen to and help in any way we could. Again, jump over to our other site. You'll be able to talk with many people who are in the exact situation that you're currently in and I think you'll find it helpful.

Best wishes for you both,

JarHed

 

[spike]

Jarhed, sorry that I failed to see the link when first landing on your site (my bad). Many thanks xx

 

[spike]

Dear JarHed, I have tried your link but they don't seem to want to talk about what I need help with. Yes, I had a dick head of priest try it on with me, but, guess what, I'm worried about a soldier - please help me out.

 

[Anglesachse]

Spike,

As Jar has said, you need to use the ther site. If you keep posting here you will be banned.

On the other site, you will not get an answer straight away, but there are a lot of us Vets on there and some one will answer eventualy

On a simpler note.

You want to stop him from Hitting you or hurting himself. You Can`t that is purely down to him.

You want to help him to help himself. Stop Drinking for both of you.

Any other help you can get from Combatstress, RBL and your GP. But he needs to do it for himself.

Go with him, hold his hand, wipe his ass and what ever else. But he needs to make the decision for him self that he needs help

 

[JarHed]

Hey Spike

Angle is correct with his post. It does take some time for people to respond to your questions and posts when you're new. Hang in there with the other forum and do the things that Angle mentioned.

Best of Luck to you both

Jar