anthony yoder
New Here
Greetings in sympathies and love.
My name is Anthony Yoder. I have been on psyche meds of every variety for about 18 years. First it was a.d.d. they said..so took ritalin from five to twelve. Then I was said to be depressed..got on about every one of the anti deps. Some seemed to actually make me more confident and happy but always I wondered what about the effects on my body? I had taken alot of street drugs too that messed me up more.
When I was 19 I had a "psychotic break"...which consisted of me having these thoughts that people who had harmed me in many ways (physical,sexual,conditioning), were in high places of power in the world and had possibly the mafia or government backing them. The traumatic and paralyzing fear has always remained since then and they have obliterated my body and clarity with anti psychotics for thirteen years to keep me from living terrified and angry and seclusive and unproductive.
What I see though is that because of the zonked zombified state they put you in you may be able to get out a bit and not be scared, but you ain't gone be doing what most people are able to do in energy level wise.
I have suffered the fear and the "cure" for almost two decades and I am 33. I want to be free from this crap and still believe I can. I am a believer in the authenticity and authority of the bible and see his promises to be absolutes, including healing. Yet clearly they must be sought out and groped for to be found, and it will not always be a miracle, although I have seen those too. There is power in the blood of Jesus.
I am here to just see what I can observe of others benefiting from non psyche approaches. As is I can go about two or three days with no meds before I feel very afraid. A pin dropping makes me jump a foot. And I literally will feel something like a fast jogging conveyer belt slipping my feet continually, literally. This will then soon be accompanied by hearing birds and dogs start to sound like they are human voices and specifically talking trash. Then I will hear peoples tvs sound like they are saying terrifying things towards me about how I messed everything up and I deserve to die and suffer and then followed with specific threatening notions or plots. Yeah sucks really really bad.
What I am more concerned with than if I will always have these thoughts and delusions now though, is whether I will be destroyed physically by the meds. I have been having an ulcerate cholitis disease...and many strange stabbing pains and burning stabbing and liquidy pains in my face and head and body. Some days I just feel so weak I don't wanna wake up. I dread hearing the chickens reminding me I am still on this planet. I am trying to hold onto hope.
I take Fanapt 8 mg. once a day...and some sinus meds.
<Paragraph breaks inserted, first words of sentences capitalized and the word 'I' capitalized by Nicolette>
My name is Anthony Yoder. I have been on psyche meds of every variety for about 18 years. First it was a.d.d. they said..so took ritalin from five to twelve. Then I was said to be depressed..got on about every one of the anti deps. Some seemed to actually make me more confident and happy but always I wondered what about the effects on my body? I had taken alot of street drugs too that messed me up more.
When I was 19 I had a "psychotic break"...which consisted of me having these thoughts that people who had harmed me in many ways (physical,sexual,conditioning), were in high places of power in the world and had possibly the mafia or government backing them. The traumatic and paralyzing fear has always remained since then and they have obliterated my body and clarity with anti psychotics for thirteen years to keep me from living terrified and angry and seclusive and unproductive.
What I see though is that because of the zonked zombified state they put you in you may be able to get out a bit and not be scared, but you ain't gone be doing what most people are able to do in energy level wise.
I have suffered the fear and the "cure" for almost two decades and I am 33. I want to be free from this crap and still believe I can. I am a believer in the authenticity and authority of the bible and see his promises to be absolutes, including healing. Yet clearly they must be sought out and groped for to be found, and it will not always be a miracle, although I have seen those too. There is power in the blood of Jesus.
I am here to just see what I can observe of others benefiting from non psyche approaches. As is I can go about two or three days with no meds before I feel very afraid. A pin dropping makes me jump a foot. And I literally will feel something like a fast jogging conveyer belt slipping my feet continually, literally. This will then soon be accompanied by hearing birds and dogs start to sound like they are human voices and specifically talking trash. Then I will hear peoples tvs sound like they are saying terrifying things towards me about how I messed everything up and I deserve to die and suffer and then followed with specific threatening notions or plots. Yeah sucks really really bad.
What I am more concerned with than if I will always have these thoughts and delusions now though, is whether I will be destroyed physically by the meds. I have been having an ulcerate cholitis disease...and many strange stabbing pains and burning stabbing and liquidy pains in my face and head and body. Some days I just feel so weak I don't wanna wake up. I dread hearing the chickens reminding me I am still on this planet. I am trying to hold onto hope.
I take Fanapt 8 mg. once a day...and some sinus meds.
<Paragraph breaks inserted, first words of sentences capitalized and the word 'I' capitalized by Nicolette>
