Hi I'm New And Need a Friend Who Understands

[wadoo]

Hi. I'm from Melbourne and suffer with PTSD from childhood truama. I'm female and I'm 38. I suppose I just need to talk to people who understand how lonely my world is.
I get so exhausted just trying to fit into a world that I dont feel part of and trying to act like a normal person as I feel like I'm crazy most of the time.
I have the most wonderful family my 2 children who dont live with me, my daughter lives with her girlfriend and my son lives with his dad and I live with the most wonderful man but I just cant seem to connect with anyone especially him even though he is really supportive.
I am finding it hard to stop the depression from consuming me and I'm keeping it at bay.
I'm sorry to go on but I've been having the worse week and feel really disconnected from everything.
* Does this happen to lots of people where they dont feel real.
* I also want to work but cant hold down a job for more than a couple of months and when I go for a job interview I dont get hired because of my short term work history. And just the thought of working, keeping me away from home is enough to send me into a severe disassociation.
* And last of all is there a trick to stopping intrusive memories from ruling your life.
Your input would be useful to me and thankyou.

 

[becvan]

Hi wadoo and welcome to the forum.

I don't feel real or feel disconnected often. It's a common symptom of PTSD and you will find most of us get that one!

There are no easy tricks when it comes to PTSD. you gotta fight your way straight through it! Read the trauma diaries, and see what it says about the healing process, also there is tons of information in the information section and in numerous threads all over the place.

Again welcome!

bec

 

[porkyrees]

Gday Wadoo,I have suffered with ptsd for 30yrs but wasnt diagnosed untill 7yrs ago whilst serving a term in prison due to my PTSD.As Bec stated its a hard road and you have to fight it all the way.Try and be patient with your partner as it is just as hard for them.I have lost two wives to PTSD.Its quite funny they both keep in touch and send each other Xmas presents its like having your own private fan club.Try and get something for the depression unless you try and tackle that one you are really behind the eight ball.Keep in touch Im in Lithgow NSW. Porky Rees.

 

[cookie]

hey wadoo, welcome to the forum. i could have written your into, just about. there are many here with similar stories. this is a good place.
cathy

 

[GR-ass]

Hey wadoo

snuggs tight, welcom to the forum.

Disassociation hell I live with it every day

<3 and hugs

cass in townsville

 

[vcc123]

Welcome Wadoo

I feel EXACTLY the way you do. I often say, I just want 'me' back. I'm currently unable to work, which makes my self esteem even worse. When I found this forum.. I realized I was no longer alone. Sometimes I feel that way, so I log onto the forum.. and I'm reminded I'm not. So take comfort in knowing that you are NOT alone.. we are here for you whenever you need us. :hello:

 

[Lisa]

Hi Wadoo,

Welcome to the forum. I'm relatively new myself :)

I think we all understand this lonely struggle, I hope you can find some solace here in that respect at least. I'm afraid I don't know how to stop intrusive memories, but I am working on it! However, in answer to your question, yep - i know the surreal not quite there feeling well. Glad I'm not the only one!

Anyway, just wanted to say hello and welcome. Hope to see you around the boards sometime...

Lisa.

 

[Terry]

Welcome to the forum Wadoo.

 

[anthony]

Hi Wadoo, welcome to the forum. There are no tricks to healing, its a tough long process. Your in Melbourne, so am I. If you want to get in contact with me by phone, then send me a private message and feel free to chat with me personally, and see if we can get you past some of this, a little better understanding. I say that because what can be done here, can be done much faster face to face, or via phone / video. What ever you feel comfortable with, just know the offer is available too you.

 

[wadoo]

Thankyou everyone for your kind replies. I'm not quite sure what to write but thankyou.

 

[YoungAndAngry]

Welcome :)

 

[upstream]

* Does this happen to lots of people where they dont feel real.
* I also want to work but cant hold down a job for more than a couple of months and when I go for a job interview I dont get hired because of my short term work history. And just the thought of working, keeping me away from home is enough to send me into a severe disassociation.
* And last of all is there a trick to stopping intrusive memories from ruling your life.
Your input would be useful to me and thankyou.

hmmm... when I got bad enough to seek help I told my new therapist that it was time to turn me into a real person. I was in pretty bad shape at the time. I've since read that this is not uncommon for trauma survivors, to feel like they are not "a real person." Reminds me of Pinochio LOL.

I can definitely relate to the intrusive memories. One minute I'm sitting comfortably with other people the next minute 8 years ago feels more real than the present. If it wasn't provoked externally it helps me to take a step back and think, what train of thought/memories brought me here? How can I regulate my thoughts better so I don't go down that path again?

I'm brand new to this forum myself, but welcome!