Relationship Hi, I'm Very New To Coming To Know My Girlfriend's Ptsd.

[chaosbutterfly]

This past winter I began dating this wonderful, beautiful, amazing girl. We have so much in common and in the start it was amazing, there was a little rough patch before we started dating but then It got a lot better and was one of the best months of my life. Unfortunately it didn't stay that way and for the past 4 months she doesn't want to see me or spend any time with me. I've been slowly coming to terms with this, first i blamed myself and thought i was doing something wrong, then i tried to do nice things for her to cheer her up, and that worked for a little while, but now shes back in a very dark place she was before.

It's such a shame,I love her so much, I want to do anything for her, but i cant. I'm slowly teaching myself to be less codependent and allow her the full space she needs.I have a lot of emotional things to work on about myself, understanding space, and coping for some, and right now I'm making a big effort to give the right amount of space, and stop asking her to see me. Unlike some other posts ive read she still talks to me every day via text or the internet like she has for the past year of knowing her, shes never mean, unkind or crule, and she doesnt get exceptionally angry with me and she listens to my problems and tries to help.

The stuff that worries me is her pushing me away, which is hard to come to terms with, the self harm, and occasional substance abuse. She unfortunatly has no insurance right now as it kicks in within 60 days, so she has no meds to help her cope. I worry the lows may never go away and we'll never have that happier time again. I worry she'll hurt herself or worse, she tells me not to worry and she'll be fine and its very hard to realize theres nothing i can do for her, she has to work things out on her own terms.

I just want her to be OK, and I feel lost and hopeless. Is there anything else I can do or am I doing all I can? Thank you for your time

 

[Jaynis]

Mate I feel the same way as you. It's painful; we're both empathic by nature. The trouble is there's not a lot we can do. Don't take it personally that she's pushing you away. She will throw walls up against you and avoid you. I don't know the intricacies of your relationship, but you're doing the right thing.

There's not a lot we can do mate. All you can do is make sure you're there when she does want to talk about it. You know. Give her space, but don't make her feel isolated. Tell her you'll be on the phone or facebook or whatever. Let her know that she can talk to you, but don't pressure her to talk. PTSD is difficult to cope with and hard to talk to people about. Just build trust between you and hope for the best.

You can't change her, but you can help her change herself.