Hi, My Name Is Meg. I Have PTSD.

[anni]

What Seedling said just shows how very, very divergent our situations are, and every one deserving of support and healing. I had a happy childhood, too-very! In point of fact, it left me very. very trusting and ill-prepared for meeting those who wished to harm me-noone ever had, quite simply. Given the two, however, I'll gladly take mine-what else were my parents to do, raise a child fearful and paranoid? Withhold love? At any rate, everyone IS different. I think Dan said in another thread, trauma is trauma. If it's re-wired whatever it is PTSD rewires in there it puts us in the same tenuous boat.

 

[Meg]

Thanks everyone for your responses, decided I might try this again.

I am not sure when exactly I was diagnosed. I usually say about when I make a estimate. My memory is shot, I have a hard time processing things and in writing things just dont come out the right way. I am such a changed person, just looking for someway to get help, for this to be done and over. I cant sleep, and keep my friends away unless my husband drags me somewhere and then pretend everything is fine.

I will try reading some articles on the forum, I am sure there are some great storys and advice here. I find since the accident is that I cant focus on reading to long anymore, I used to read all the time, a book in about 4 nights. I havent read a book, besides my childrens short stories for over 4 months now.

Thanks again for you responses and wishin you all the best!

 

[Dot Warner]

Dear Meg,

I read your history and I think that this car accident has simply triggered an old CPTSD that was sleeping inside of you, because of the terrible past you have lived. It has happened now because in this period you are particulary stressed, I think for this reason:

But when he is up for probation, I will be there to stop him from getting out if I can help it.

So, in your place, I would be greteful to that woman who broke your car and hurted your necks, because now you will face your past and you will be stronger after that. And you need that strenght now to face your brother's situation. Maybe inside of you you are afraid he could hurt your children too. So, Meg, be strong and try to see things clearly.

You say that you have a nice life, but maybe you have used it to escape from the past, that won't never be past inside of you if you don't face it.

I am not a psychiatrist, this is only my opinion.

Good luck!!!!

 

[anni]

Oh my Meg.

I think your entire first paragraph was some sort of checklist with this thing, you know? Sleep, distracted thinking, reclusiveness, forgetfullness- when you can focus some energy it's sometimes comforting to read old threads because you tend to read things you could have written yourself! Such a relief, to see that.

I hope you're able to get the energy to come here when possible. It's an awfully good place to just sort of leave some of the dreck, not feel like 'you're the only one', and get an awful lot of solid information.

All the best, and take care,

Anni

 

[Meg]

I did forget to add, that the last time I was rear-ended, totally spaced me til now, I almost lost my daughter who is now 5 (I was 33 weeks).I was on 82nd near clackamas town center and was rear-ended, I pulled into a parking lot near(busy road and didnt want to get out on it). I had waved the person to follow but he/she didnt. I remember cryin in the parking lot and callin my husband, either my lower back or stomache hurt, cant remember details very well. Went to hospital and was sent home, a couple days later woke in the middle of the night thinkin my water had broke to realize I was bleeding all over. Over the next few weeks was bed rest and many trips to the hospital, finally at about 37 weeks they decided to induce than risk me lose baby. Took 55 hrs and much stress and odd ways to get me to dialate. But had my beautiful baby girl, the doctors said she was my miracle baby, a large chunk of the placenta had sperarated.

 

[a3a2]

I think what Meg was trying to say is that the auto accident triggered her symptoms and thus led her to being diagnosed with PTSD. Not that the accident caused the PTSD. Although I always had symptoms....all hell broke loose when my husband was sick and then a complete stranger yelled at me.

Wlecome to the forum, Meg. Glad you are here. I hope you can find the support you need.

 

[Acquiescence]

Aw, this all stinks, Meg.

The good news is you have two wonderful children and a supportive husband and it can only get better from here, right?

Just keep trucking =]

 

[anni]

I read, or heard and can NOT remember where or whom from that when the trauma also involve our children either directly or peripherably the results add terribly to the whole effect. Your accident would have rattled the most solid, well adjusted person on the planet dreadully. As the proverbial straw, it sounds more like a Giant Redwood.The clarity of your description and then that spacey-out thing we all tend to do drives me insane because it doens't seem to make sense, does it? How can some things be so clear and others either indistinct, arrive back in your head at various times you don't want them to or keep looking different in one's memory. Baffling, isn't it?

How lovely to hear she was just fine, although I'd have to think it took an awfully long time to tell your head that. It doesn't always cooperate these days, I know.

 

[seedling]

You can be glad for the success of being able to read stories to your children. I'm in the same boat, have several books I was dying to get into that are now gathering dust. But, I can still read out loud to the kids and I'm thankful for that. It's good to hang on to the things we can do sometimes.

Take care, glad you're back.