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Sufferer Hi, new here gulf 94-95

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I can still see the mans face even though its been 20 years telling me if I involve the chain of command he’d personally see to it id be thrown overboard during the night.
 
Yep....took me a long time to talk about it.

The VA offers free mst therapy..no questions asked. You don't have to explain anything..the idea is to get free counseling so you can recover without making us "prove" anything. These assaults are so common they just assume you are a victim if you say you are so it takes that pressure off

Just a thought for when you are ready ☺️

And ya...I still believe there is someone behind every door waiting g to shoot me for daring to talk
 
Welcome to the forum. Very sorry to hear what happened and being bullied and assaulted by the very people you have to trust sounds like something deeply painful. It messes so much with sense of belonging and purpose. I’ve been bullied in very different settings, sexually assaulted and a survivor of heavy domestic violence. Not really the same thing but to certain extents it’s possible to relate with the constant pressure and terror and exposure. Sorry to hear your dad passed away, too. Hope this place brings you answers and insights. I joined here in November and it’s been a sanctuary of support and understanding since then. Places like here are blessed and precious. Pace and good luck in your path!
 
You might want to start a diary here.....eventually. A safe place to purge your thoughts and struggles. We're here if you have any questions or situations you need to navigate. We're from all walks of life from all over the world. Someone here has been right where you are not so long ago.

Have hope! 😊
 
The denial is on me, never talked to the VA about my issue and my violent service experience.
I finally caved a few years back... because there weren’t any private therapists within a 5 hour drive who had any experience with vets.

Not the VA, I still won’t touch them with a 10’ pole dripping with Rottweilers. But the VetCenter. Totally different admin and 1 way info flow. They can ask the VA for anything they want, but the VA can’t ask them for shit. Their mandate is MST & Combat.

Most of them are located in strip malls and other totally innocuous places. The one nearest me is on freaking base. <roll eyes> Was never gonna happen. Except they were totally willing to meet off base at a university campus. Yep. That level of “lets make this work”.

Most of the therapists are vets themselves who went to school, some are civilians who specialize in vets.
 
Not the VA, I still won’t touch them with a 10’ pole dripping with Rottweilers. But the VetCenter. Totally different admin and 1 way info flow. They can ask the VA for anything they want, but the VA can’t ask them for shit. Their mandate is MST & Combat.
I got really lucky with my VA T -- she is a vet and now in the NG, so she gets it. Sadly she is the only vet they have on staff.

I wish I had known about the VetCenters first - I would have gone there because I really struggle in hospital environments (where my T is located) and from what I've heard they are much easier to deal with because, well, they are vets.
 
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