Sufferer Hi, Newbie Anaphylactic Shock

[kai]

Hi everyone here is my story.

I suffered rapid onset anaphylactic shock after taking a penicillin almost a year ago now. I truly believed I was going to die and I know what the expression "a sense of impending doom" now means because I felt it. Since then I have had what I describe as a personality transplant, the world smells different, tastes different, sounds different, I'm different.

I'm disconnected, fearful of everything I put in my body, fearful of everything outside my body. I thought time would heal me and I would get over it but a year later that has not happened and things keep getting worse, spiralling out of control.

I just want to be the person I was. But I now realise after seeking medical advice and my diagnosis, that is not going to happen. So here I am trying to learn how to be a new person and hopefully a better one. Let the journey begin.

 

[christine12]

Welcome Kai to the Forum; there alot of great Forums here with alot of topics and relateable situations. Hope that this helps your Journey and again Welcome
Sincerly, Chrissy

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

Let the journey begin.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step."

You have begun your 'journey' towards healing just by reaching out for help. Sometimes our instincts tell us to hide, and fear. But, the truth is, you CAN get better, it just takes a while. It is different for everyone, but if you don't give up or give in, then you will make it.

Maybe one day you will help someone who has dealt with the same thing, or close to it.

Welcome to an awesome place to share, and learn with others' who understand how your world can 'stop' when something this overwhelming happens.

Be blessed on your journey!

AKJ

 

[kai]

Thanks AKJ, It is a comfort to know I'm not alone on my journey and that people here understand. It is an awesome thought that I might be able to help someone else. I will hold onto that thought. Thank you so much.

 

[99Phoenix99]

I truly believed i was going to die and i know what the expression "a sense of impending doom" now means because i felt it. Since then I have had what i describe as a personality transplant, the world smells different, tastes different, sounds different, I'm different..

Welcome to the site Kai.

I can relate to you in a way. For about 6 months I had doctors telling me to prepare myself for death because of medical reasons. After living through that experience I know what you mean. NOTHING is the same. The whole world seems different. There's a shift but you don't know what exactly. But you do know that YOU are different.

Unfortunately I'm in the same boat as you. I WANT to go back to be who I used to be. But doing that would be denying who I am and where I've been. I can't change what happened no matter how badly I wish I could. What I can change is who I can be.

I've been able to find an unbelievable amount of comfort from this site. My greatest hope is that you can too.

 

[intothelight]

Hi Kai,

Welcome to the PTSD Forum! :)

I love your attitude about becoming not only better, but a better person for it. PTSD is a disorder and not who we are. But as we learn to manage this disorder and are open to it, there can be a lot of personal growth.

The information on this site and the support of the other members is wonderful as you work on healing.

Wishing you the best.
Debbie

 

[KP the nut]

Hello Kai and welcome to the fourm.

Yes, the journey begins. Start with small baby steps.

 

[Katz2]

Welcome Kai, You've made the first step :)

 

[user17231]

Welcome to the forums. I, too, once had a reaction to a penicillin. Not as bad as yours, but I can relate to that is a truly terrifying feeling. Good luck on the road to recovery!

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

Unfortunately I'm in the same boat as you. I WANT to go back to be who I used to be. But doing that would be denying who I am and where I've been. I can't change what happened no matter how badly I wish I could. What I can change is who I can be.

It is true that 'we' will never be the same, BUT with work, we can become a better rendition of ourselves. Fuller, more appreciative of life, and deeper than before.

For years I wanted the 'old me' back, but I have learned SO much that I really AM better than who I was 'before' I fell apart. Much of who I 'was', was a mask because I was really living in fear and anxiety, and necessity.

BTW...I hope you carry an 'Epipen' or something like that in case you ever have a bad reaction to something again.

I look forward to seeing you around!

 

[kai]

My journey today has taken me to slightly better place as I didn't look over my shoulder for the "old me". A small step in the right direction of becoming who I can be.