@allieoop First welcome to the forum and I know that you will make a lot of wonderful friends here.
I am sorry for what you have been through and what you are suffering with now, but I am glad you found this forum.
For years I did not understand what was happening to me, and did not know that others had some of the same feelings about themselves that I felt about myself. I did not think there were others that understood me, but I have met people here who do understand, and that helps so much.
I know things are difficult for you now, but here, there are people who understand and can relate to what you are experiencing, and in time things will get better.
I am sorry for what you have been through and what you are suffering with now, but I am glad you found this forum.
For years I did not understand what was happening to me, and did not know that others had some of the same feelings about themselves that I felt about myself. I did not think there were others that understood me, but I have met people here who do understand, and that helps so much.
I know things are difficult for you now, but here, there are people who understand and can relate to what you are experiencing, and in time things will get better.