Undiagnosed Hi. There Are So Many Reasons I Have Ptsd That They Can't Fit In The Title.

[A. St. Vincent]

Where to start?
Ex-homless.
Was homeless because I had to leave previous domicile.
Had to leave previous domicile because I was 18 and transgender.
This was a problem becaue parents were fundamentalist baptists.
So was the entire town of 3,000 that I lived in.
Basically think gestapo/orwellian nightmare. It was a barrel of fun to grow up it. Alone.
Left. New York. Death threats and private eye's hired by family.
Mother was a "Mommy Dearest" type...wish I was exaggerating.
Father was also physically and emotionally abusive, just not nearly as bad.

(Hint-Me being trans wasn't the reason I was abused. It was just always like that and the whole "trans" thing made it that much worse.)

Can't remember if I was sexually abused...not that it really matters much at this point. But it's driving me crazy.

Abusive, clinically insane romantic partners (so far, I've got Sociopath (self-admitted), Neurotic/Co-Dependant Type, and Schizophrenic. I just need a Dissociative Identity Disorder to round out the big four.)

No reason to believe this is going to get get any better. I have no friends(except for one of the aforementioned ex's. And he's really more of a drinking/f*cking buddy anyway). I have no support. I'm basically walking dead. I have a therapist that I can't talk to. I have a freezing cold room in a program for homeless LGBT youth. I have a terrible job in retail.

Why am I still breathing? No, but seriously, if you know, tell me.

<Paragraph breaks inserted by Amethist>

 

[janej32]

I'm so sorry to hear about all you have been through! You seem pretty strong though to have made it through all that. I pray things get better for you. I can't really relate to many of the things you have mentioned (other than the freezing cold room, I may have a roof over my head but I do not have heat! haha) , and I don't really have any advice but I still wanted to send some kind words and let you know I am here to listen if you need it. That's pretty great that you have a job though, even if you feel its terrible (that's more than I can say for me).

Thinking of you,
Jane

 

[Sterre]

I am so sorry for all this you have been trough Vincent.

I can see where your transgender issue only added to the whole ordeal, and not being caused by the abuse.

Maybe you can see the situation that you are in right now, as a starting point, not as a final destination?
You have a room ( maybe not comfortable, not warm), you have a job ( horrible job, but a job), and you are reaching out. That can make for a starting point to start building your life upon, step by step.

How come you cant talk to your therapist? Is it possible to seek somebody else that you feel you can talk to, that understands what you are giong trough?

 

[wife of]

Welcome I can see you have plenty of issues to work on.

May I suggest you start by not deriding people with issues such as dissociative identity disorder etc as a lot of people here have more than one diagnosis and may find this offensive.

This is not ment to discourage you from posting at all but just to highlight that you need to consider the suffering of others on the site as well as your own.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)

Please be careful of what you say. A lot of people here have multiple diagnoses, and I am one of them.

I think you have come to far to just give up, don't you think? You are young and you can still get somewhere. And there are lots of paths!

Take care of yourself.