Hi There...

[Gloria]

Dear Sterre.
Welcme to the forum. Personally, I wish Death would get the heck off of this site and I'm disappointed that more people have not said something because I must have heard "this guy Death really creeps me out" from ten people now. I wrote in his visitor comments, that Death, Incest, Rape and all the other identies should find a different website to hand out on on. Some of us on the forum have very negative feelings come up when dealing with an entity like this.

But don't you be discouraged. Maybe Death won't stalk you here but in reality a lot of really healthy, supportive people on this site. I am one person who believes that everything on this site should try to be positive and upbeat and stay away from the ghoulish goofiness and crap and leave that to Facebook!

Welcome!

Gloria

 

[Sterre]

Because I looked a bit spaced out and fat on my former avatar, I uploaded a new one! No more bad hairdays for me! Althoug I'm feeling a bit "blue" today...:D

 

[stacey]

I loooooooove that blue doo!

 

[stacey]

Thank you all for the warm welcome!

This forum helps me a lot these days. I live in the netherlands and our healt care system is much different then the healt care system in the US or the one in the UK.
I'm amazed by the amount of recongnision i read when i scroll down the different topics and articles. i just cannot seem to find this kind of info in my own country.There is some dutch info on the net, and there is a Dutch PTSD group, but the last message i found on it stems from 2007.It's pretty much dead i suppose.

Five years ago i started therapy with a female psychiatrist. She is not only subscribing medication, but i also follow somekind of trauma therapie with her. I have a two week apointment for one hour ( for now it's once a week). She provides and follows schematherapy with me. Altough i've always trusted her a lot, a recently had a break of trust, and now i am slowly rebuilding the bond i have with her. I'm not sure if my trust crises had to do with the fact that i stopped taking antidepressants for 4 months ago. After losing a job for the forth time, i just lost all my faith in medication and therapy. I still doubt everything, especcially myself and the abbility to recover and overcome my teribble youth. At this point in my life i feel trapped. I lost my confidence to maintain a job and be financially independant, i lost my faith in maintainig a relationship, or my social skills.The only thing i don't doubt ( sometimes at my darkest moments i do) is my abillity to be a loving parent for my little girl.

There is a special trauma therapy centre in my country that just recently started treating CPTSD, but the treatment takes three years for 2/3 days a week, i will mean that my life is on hold for such a long time. It will mean i have to go on dissability and i cannot accept that this therapy will be the only solution to a better life. It feels to much like a sacrifice to submit myself to this long therapy, esspecialy since i'm allready in therapy for five years with my current therapist and i'm really working very very hard in that therapy.

Sorry if i'm rambling about, maybe i should do it in another topic?

Again..thank you all for your responds!

Anni, thanks for the compliment about my english. Your post about your german adventure made me laugh, to bad they could not understand a single word you spoke to them!:)

I can so relate to what you're saying. I remember being independent, confident, with a good job, nice clothes, nice place to live...now, NOT! I hate antidepressants and finding names or letters of the alphabet to call me isn't helping me sleep or making me feel any better, at all! I just wanna remember where I left me so I can find me & get back to being me.