Hi - Very Nervous About Posting

[sonrisa]

Welcome Sonrisa (Cat),

I just had to say that if blunt is your style, then you are in great company here. One of the benefits of this forum, I think, is the fact that there is little room for bs which cuts straight to the stuff that needs to be dealt with. I know a large part of the bs that my husband used to get re PTSD and I also know personally of the bs (surprisingly) that he used to dish out in denial. Even if blunt is not generally your style, you may find it a refreshing change, cause if you want sugar coating, you won't get it here.

Just found this; don't know how I missed it! Blunt hasn't been my style, but my patience is definitely wearing thin, so it could well become so (when appropriate), especially as being gentle is often seen as being weak or able to be used, while your own pain is dismissed. Although I feel it's good to get to the point, and the world would be a far better place if everyone communicated honestly and with heart, I don't feel it's right to be blunt unnecessarily, as it's lack of sensitivity that is a part of ptsd starting in the first place and lack of sensitivity that doesn't aid in recovery.

We're all very individual anyway, so I feel that being aware of an individual and the appropriate approach has to be important. I couldn't stay somewhere where there isn't that balance, as it's too damaging when you're trying to heal! And I don't say that in any sense of avoiding cutting through BS or being in denial, as personally I'm extremely honest with myself, and far too hard on myself if anything, plus it's the lack of sensitivity from others that is so often the problem. It's a very tough reality when sensitivity is missing.

I feel it's how the BS is cut through that is important. Personally, I can't be open or feel safe if the response is always blunt, but if it's done with heart and respect of yourself as an individual, that's very different, and the same feedback is being given.

I 100% agree with you saying that being blunt could be refreshing though, and finding this message today is very timely, after an experience yesterday where I was getting frustrated outside with someone who I started to feel that I wanted to be blunt with (someone I normally just say hello to, but had a longer chat with, well, was talked AT by!). I made some points but also with consideration. Developing discrimination further and therefore being more blunt with anyone who behaves badly or selfishly is very much coming clear as being necessary, as it's too draining to keep dealing with selfishness and negativity, and ptsd requires energy in order to recover!