Hi!

[nelleh]

I'm new here. I'm married 14 yrs to a man with ptsd from severe child abuse, made worse by time served in the marines. It's been a real tough time. Many roller coaster ups and downs. When it's good it's really good, when it's bad it's really bad. He has never been physically violent but lots of name calling and yelling. I never know what will trigger him. What is no problem one day is a disaster another day. I wake up evey day not knowing what to expect. It's exhausting! Last weekend he hit some kind of bottom. I didn't know it but he almost killed himself, he had the pistol to his head with the chamber loaded. He is in the VA hospital now. I don't even know what to do next. Before the suicide thing he fipped out on my adult son and I. Now he is very sorry. This is not new tho. It's a cycle that we have been through many times. He acts out towards me or others, he gets suicidal, says he sorry, gets help, things are good or even great for a while, even as long as 6 mounths, then he is at me again. It can be over anything, the kids, bills, dirt, etc. It is so hard to be the best that I can be when I am repeatedly dragged into his suffering.

Anyway, I'm glad to have found you all.

 

[Gamereign555]

It sounds like you are on a roller coaster yourself! Take care and make sure you are thinking of your own well being too. You should check out the supporters section and see what they say about it.

 

[Froggie]

Welcome to the forum nellieh. I agree with gamereign on all that was said. I would add, might be good to get some counseling on marital violence as this sounds like you and H are caught in a cycle / pattern that keeps coming back. I'm glad to hear that he is in hospital to get some help. Now think of yourself. ((((Hugs)))) and thoughts of Peace

 

[intothelight]

Hi Nelleh,

Welcome to the PTSD Forum. I am glad that you recognized the pattern and have reached out for help. This is a great place for information and support.

You also need to take care of yourself. Breaking cycles and patterns is extremely hard, and the effects may not always be glaringly apparent. Yes, your husband is suffering the results of his PTSD, but so are you in a very real way. Get all of the help that you need, and please put yourself first. PTSD or not, no one has the right and there is no good excuse to damage anothers life.

I wish you both the best.
Debbie

 

[nelleh]

Thanks all, I have been seeing a therapist for a year now and that is helping and I am changing and maybe that has something to do with the breakdown of my huysband. I am not reacting in the same way as the past. I am exhausted tho. I have the weekend off and plan to rest.

Thanks, Nelle

 

[CraftyCath]

Hi nellieh,

My thoughts and love are with you.