Welcome to the Forum! I'm sorry that you need a place like this, but I can assure you, this forum is well-run and helpful. I've felt so much compassion and understanding....more than I even knew I needed!
Waiting in between insurances and meds is a nightmare at best! How can 'they' expect you not to have horrid reactions to the lack of meds? Please don't give up! Your LIFE, your STORY is not done yet. Surviving means you are alive, until further notice! One breath at a time.
My PTSD is the result of a complicated really non existent child hood that would seem normal to most, a 7 year marriage that should have never happen, and a horrible car accident that haunts me daily.
Those could be my words. 'Our" empty childhoods set us up to fail! Pain is pain, no one's is worse. Suffering is made easier if we can reach out for help, and ACCEPT love.
I had 4 marriages, and 4 divorces, and have been more cruel to myself than I would have allowed ANYONE else to be to a person. Thank God I had children, and knew I had to do the best I could, because I had begged Him to let me have a child! My 2nd child had severer Cerebral Palsy (CP), and her birth, life, and death was bittersweet. Much sorrow, but she was my very own angel!
Other people might survive better. But, childhood trauma sufferers often have no 'self', and have no trust and don't know boundaries. Because no one took the time to 'fall in love' with them as babies! As children, when they (me) came into the room, no one's eyes lit up and welcome them (me) with open arms!
How are we supposed to approach life properly if we've not been taught how to love ourselves and the others' around us?
Oooops, I got long-winded!! Hope to see you around the Forum!