Sufferer Hi

[daleksteph]

hi, so a little about me I suppose: I was raised in a physically and mentally abusive home, I was molested as a young child. I was misdiagnosed bipolar at 15 and put in state care when it was discovered what abuse I was going through. I rushed into a marriage because my religious upbringing had convinced me no one else would want me once I fell pregnant. I had a son and a daughter 15 months apart and raised them with little help from my then husband. my daughter passed away from unknown causes at 2 and a half years old. after her death i was diagnosed as having PTSD from the abuse, molestation and of course the most tragic thing, my daughter's passing. I tried to work on the marriage after the incident but my then husband was simply another trigger and I avoided him most of the time. I was pregnant when my daughter passed and my youngest son is now 2 and a half. We separated in February this year and I was feeling great until my mother got back in contact and it just set me off. The reason I am reaching out now is because I have just made the decision to have my youngest live with his father and my eldest live with me. 2 kids by myself with PTSD is just too much for me right now. I hope that more intensive therapy can help me to be able to get in a better place emotionally. I guess I am very scared of the verbal abuse and general nastiness I am going to go through for "giving up" one of my children even though I will still have him every other weekend.

 

[Namenotdiagnosis]

Hi and welcome to the forum, so sorry to hear about your dreadful and painful times. I don't think it's anyone's right to judge anyone else and that's the beauty of this site, everyone understands and is supportive . I totally understand your feelings of possible guilt in giving your child to his father , you haven't put him up for adoption not is he in care he is with his biological father who is there to look after him. My x husband and I had a similar set up , my eldest stayed with him and the youngest with me. There was noway I could deal with my cptsd and raise my children the way I would have liked to because I was very ill at the time , fortunately for me my x and their father is amazing and had an excellent relationship with the child whom lived with me. I would look at your situation as being positive, honest and caring because you put your children's needs first. I hope you recieve lots of support and can continue to have a good relationship with both your cjildren. Life is hard enough , don't be too harsh on yourself.

 

[intothelight]

@daleksteph Welcome and no judgement here for choosing what you believe is best for your children. I hope that you find the information and support here helpful to your healing.

 

[Friday]

Welcome to the forums :)

Living with her father 80/20 isn't giving up your child, it's split custody. Speaking as someone in 50/50 custody hell, 80/20 provides a whole lot more stability/ consistency/ normalcy than constantly flip flopping back and forth between wildly different households & rules. There's no way for any of us to get any kind of solid footing.