Home Alone - Stress Induced Anxiety

[mike b]

Well over the years i have found a trigger in my life to have my mind go hay wire. Stress is a pretty big trigger of mine and everytime it comes about i have a hard time controlling matters of the mind even after proper medication. Heres an example for everyone to ponder and commit on. My wife of 8 almost 9 years works for the military as a civilian. She occasionally takes trips for training and right now is gone for two weeks. I love my two daughter and love spending time with them. However when days at work are long and a 16 and 4 year old act as some times kids do. I feel myself moving in my mind to places i dont need to be. No physical thoughts, but loosing control of a normally steady frame of mind when properly medicated. I have a hard time moving past it even after they have gone to bed and sometimes spend hours just trying to calm down my mind and get back to a good place. Depending on the stress level depends on how long it takes to get back where i need to be. Sometimes its and hour and other times it has taken days to control my mind and emotions to where i dont snap at the smallest things. Lets put it this way i threw a fan out of my garage into the street ( about 25 feet ) over crating my dog so he would pee in the house. Any advise to help stay in a steady state of mind would be great.

 

[ChrisB]

Mike- I used to refer to it as "My stress glass is aways full," the smallest thing that I perceive as sressfull sets me off to lala land. I have found that if I do not control it, the intensity is worse. So, I have to engage in self talk and become very aware of my thoughts and feeling. Sounds easy but it's not, we have to be honest with ourselves and face the amount of times that we do not think right. Read some books on Mindfulness; go slow because it will get harder as you become aware of your thoughts and feelings. Be willing to say and admit when you have had enough and step back. Remember, stepping back does not mean giving up.

Chris

 

[sisu]

Mike,
I too have two daughters and they are 1 year apart in age. Sometimes after a long day they fight like professional wrestlers with as much noise as a hundred screaming animals. It drives me crazy and I get tired of telling them to stop and that they are family and shouldn't treat each other that way. Most of the time my speeches go in one ear and out the other.

When I am super stressed about it, I go into my room and hang out and watch tv or read a book. Really with a 16 year old, you could leave for a bit and get an ice-cream cone or something to break the stressful feeling.

Kids think they have been given the job of testing the parents ability to control their stress. No changing that ~ so in order to survive, you must just find solutions for how you react. Good luck.

Sisu

 

[Cindy]

I have done similar things. It makes you feel so out of control. And on top of that you are seething. Reflecting on the times it has occurred I think if we could pick up on the building up of the stress or anxiety and diffuse it earlier to prevent the explosion it would be better managed.

Instead of stewing for so long let it out in dribs and drabs. Taking frequent diversionary breaks from the stressful situation. Physical exercise, simple task like cleaning out the refrigerator, etc. Another strategy if you have people that will be responsive, share with them your expectations to chip in and help you out. Talk to the 16 year old and ask for cooperation in handling the younger child and her managing her frustrations better while Mom is away.

I guess overall my response is try to diffuse it before it explodes by identifying the build up.

 

[lacey]

I agree with everyone else and i too try to do all those things. However I seem to run into road blocks :wall: such as, when I step back or step away, go in my room door closed alone to try to "breath in the calm and out the confusion" I feel like i am isolating myself then i get even more upset because im doing what i'm not supose to but at the same time i know its whats best.... Yes my mind is dysfuncional! LOL I have found though when i "self coach" I do okay. Hope my input did something for you and if ne one has something to tell me on how to stop my tornado brain please let me know!
Good luck, mike.