Home Alone Again Stirs Up Anxiety :/

[FindingMyself88]

Ugh, I knew this was going to start happening so I don't know why it's affecting my so badly! My stepdad left an hour ago and I am already on edge and getting anxious. I'm trying to keep busy. I organized my bookshelf and started on unpacking the rest of my clothes from moving, but I couldn't focus on it. It's the middle of the day and I have my dogs with me, so I don't know why I'm anxious. I don't really think its a fear of something, but a fear of myself. Does that make sense?? The other night I got EXTREMELY depressed to the point that I had to chat with an online counselor from the suicide hotline. I can't call anyone because my phone doesn't get service. I should be getting a new phone this week…

It's just going to get worse when he starts working nights… I already can't sleep good. I use to be okay being alone, what is wrong with me?! Sometimes I honestly feel overwhelmed when he is home because I think he tries to keep me too busy and talking.

Ugh, I hate this!!! I have 8 more hours by myself :( feels like eternity!

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I used to love being alone too. But not anymore. I am a people person and I need people around me to keep me company. I tend to dwell on the negative when I am alone now.

But I was married and had two kids.

My husband died ten months ago from severe dementia and I only made it five months by myself. Now when I find myself alone, I try to reach out to friends and family. I try to distract myself with projects I am working on and I get depressed being alone.

I do not know about the anxiety. I did not have anxiety before and now I suffer from it but with help from my doctor, I am getting better than I was.

I sure relate to what you are going through and I am so proud of you for doing projects when you feel so on edge.

It is the feelings of loneliness, I cannot stand. I was alone so much as a child and I think it has to do with my past unmet needs.

I hope you find out what is causing yours. I am so glad that you moved in with your dad and I am so sorry that you are so struggling while he is gone.

I do not know if you believe in using medication, but I find help for sleeping is a great thing to have.

I wish you the best in what you are dealing with and I hope it gets easier with time. Mabe when you get your new phone that will help you out and good for you calling a hot line. I have done that a few times in my life.