Housing & Ptsd

[Upside Down Eagle]

I´ve had trouble with housing and PTSD since I first started living on my own...

In the first house, I had flashbacks, nightmares, anxiety and anger attacks... second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth house, dito. I got kicked out of my last house due to these issues.

I now live in a giant house with a lot of young people. So far they haven´t threatened to kick me out but I feel horrible because every time I lose control, they know, and they get to experience every detail of my anxiety attack. I find it very humiliating.

But I don´t know what to do. If I move it´s just going to happen again, and I am tired of pretending that I am the best tenant in the world, only to keep that up for a few months and then be "discovered".

Did you guys have trouble with this? Did you find a solution?

 

[Friday]

I've lived in a lot of not-houses / not-flats. Actual structures that I've voluntarily made my home include; a couple hangers (airplane, helicopter), a converted elevator shaft (think the old style gilt & glassed), a factory, a couple barns, a few different sailboats, a few vehicles, & far too many hotels & hostels to even begin to list.

What's a home? A place that's yours.

That home looks like "everyone else's"? Has never really been a big thing, with me.

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

I wish I could live in an airplane or hangar (that´d be a dream come true) but in this country everything is hemmed in by BS rules and restrictions. It´s not even allowed to live in your own bus or trailer technically, unless on a assigned fixed spot (and these are usually pretty far from the city).

Also it is not possible to escape any surveillance. The Netherlands is a very crowded place. If you live somewhere not within the rules they´ll be on you in no time. I´ve been considering moving elsewhere, but I´ve got a small income, small savings, and then there is always work laws to contend with (you can´t just migrate and start working somewhere without permit...)

 

[digger]

first house, I had flashbacks, nightmares, anxiety and anger attacks... second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth house, dito. I got kicked out of my last house due to these issues.

Have all these been houseshares with other people? Would getting somewhere on your own be a more workable option for you?

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

Not all. The trouble is that apartments in the city are too expensive for me. I´ve lived in my own apartment in a rural area for a while three years back, but the isolation increased my PTSD.

My low income is a problem (I´m on disability income).

 

[ceejaye]

I´ve had trouble with housing and PTSD since I first started living on my own...

In the first house, I...

same here with the income problem. searching for a house here in the city is nearly impossible.

i also live with roommates and am not the best roommate alive. if i crash; i dont see the mess i make on the floor or do the dishes.
i got sick and tired of adapting to their glorious standards in moments if felt scared and like dying inside. so i stopped worrying and embraced that i do what i can and and i dont do what i cant do and i tell that straigth to their face. if it cannot be done with the mindset of effertlessnes i dont do it.
also when i feel like crying in cry my heart out. i never hold back anymore. with angry screaming i try to go to the park but if i have no space for that the neighbourhood wil hear my fury. my recovery is my first priority in life

they dont like me for it but i feel sooo much better since i have chosen to do that.
plus i checked the law and find out that i am protected for kicking me out after 9 months of living in a place. gives some sense of safety :)

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

@ceejaye you´re Dutch too so you understand the problem with lack of space and overly expensive housing like no other haha.

I can identify with what you´re saying. I also try my best and that´s all I got. But I still crash (very severely) from time to time.
I also think my roommates must not like me a lot, I haven´t checked but if I were them I´d be very annoyed and/or worried.

It just gives me a lot of shame, I feel like I am the pariah of the house. I wish I could have an apartment and apply for a service dog.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Same with the income issue. It is next to impossible to live in Florida on a single income unless you have a wonderful job. High price of living and low wages. That and my anger explosions and being so terrified of people is why im not so fast to kick my dad & step mom out, I dont think I could allow a stranger in my space as a roommate. My ex rommates werent strangers, family of family. And stripped down to bare min id still drown. On the edge of the getto, it gets no cheaper. Orlando area is most especially expensive (and crowded with slow drivers) due to the attractions and what not. Closer to work is more expensive and way smaller apartments. Im talking almost $1000 a month for a 650sq ft apartment. Its ridculous!

And they are family so I think its easier to go off knowing they wont go anywhere. Anger explosions and flashbacks and screaming nightmares + money issues = a horrible place. Im right there with you! I have no idea how to keep a roommate if I managed to let them in my space. Right there with ya! :hug:

a couple hangers (airplane, helicopter), a converted elevator shaft (think the old style gilt & glassed), a factory, a couple barns, a few different sailboats, a few vehicles, & far too many hotels & hostels to even begin to list.

Im trying to picture the elevator shaft but even the big ones are small and tall. How did that work?

The hanger sounds cool, as does the factory.

I spoke to a customer once that lived in a building that used to be a school converted into apartments and then another that used to be a factory in like the 1920s, rehab'd and converted into apartments. They had stuctures like that in Kansas but not seen any here. Florida is "paradise" (though i hate it) and most especially Orlando area, so that i know of we dont have any sort of old converted space like that. Sounds like a cool building to turn into apartments and live in. Or just to live in that space. The barns sound pretty cool too. I always wanted to live in a sailboat.

I guess if homeless it would be horrible to live in an old building but its a roof and walls.

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

I´m always grumbling at them because I don´t really want them in my space.

I don´t grumble to their face mind you :P But I think they can still tell I am not thrilled about them being here. Even though I am glad I can live here. It´s weird.

 

[illusionist]

I shared a house with two guys who had mental health issues, although it was far from perfect, I felt that they had more understanding and consideration for my issues at the time, than anywhere else I'd lived. We actually had conversations on how best to deal with each other, and even laughed about incidents, after the events. We lived together reasonably well, and certainly displayed tolerance, most of the time.