How Can I Cope?

[Moses]

I just don't know how to hold on any more.

I have been trying to get help for depression on and of for over 25 years, but nothing has really helped. I was having CBT therapy for depression, when my therapist realized after a few sessions that I was also suffering from PTSD. She changed the focus of the therapy to try to help me with my PTSD. During therapy, more and more traumas began to emerge, some, as early as preschool. My therapist and her supervisor decided that they were not 'equipped' to deal with my PTas it was complex, and that the NHS only allowed a maximum of 20 sessions and said that I needed to be referred to a specialist trauma center.

The Maudsley hospital in London was mentioned, but I was told that the local mental health care team would need to assess me, and then if they thought it necessary, that they would then refer me.

My CBT finished about 4 weeks ago, and, as yet I have not heard anything from the mental health team. I feel as if I have been dumped with no support. I was told at the end of therapy that if I felt suicidal, I could go to my local hospital, or phone the Samaritans. what is the point of that? the hospital would only drug me up to the eyeballs to carry me through until the next time, and the Samaritans would only listen.

I am feeling so depressed having feelings i dont want to feel, no feelings at all, nightmares and flashbacks. i am also having more and more missing moments where I just 'lose time' and I am nowhere. I feel as if I am losing my sanity and I am stuck inside myself, screaming. I just dont feel I can hold onto my sanity for much longer.

 

[Hashi]

Hi Moses,

I'm sorry you're in this position and the NHS is not providing the support it should.

Is your GP involved? Could they advocate for you/chase up with the local mental health team? Or can you go back to your previous therapist to ask for help with this? Can you contact an organisation like Mind to ask for their advice on how to chase it up? I think to get your assessment or even just to find out what's going on, you may need to chase them and keep pestering them, but I know this can be difficult to do on your own.

Regarding A&E/the Samaritans, I wouldn't find either of these suggestions useful either. I have gone to my GP a couple of times, though, for short-term medication for a week (once beta blockers, once sleeping pills). I don't like the idea of medication for myself and have rejected the offer of anti-depressants, but it has still been necessary sometimes to take something for anxiety or sleep, because I was feeling so bad and needed something to help me through the next few days.

Also, I've found it helpful occasionally to ring a different type of helpline. This depends partly on the nature of your trauma and your symptoms now. RASASC and Anxiety UK, for example, have hotlines open to anyone - I've found these much more use than the Samaritans because they were specific to what I was experiencing and the people there had more experience and expertise. Anxiety UK in particular gave me very practical suggestions for coping. I think there are similar hotlines for depression.

Or if you know you have to wait a certain time before NHS therapy can start, maybe it would help to find short term therapy to help you with coping and grounding skills (not to start going into trauma work - not a good idea with a temporary arrangement, only to support you in coping). Anxiety UK is one place that has some low cost options for things like this, and there may be others.

If you can get to the Maudsley, I think you might get excellent help and support there. I think you're going to have to push and follow up to get an assessment and referral, though. I also think you need to focus on coping and grounding skills in the meantime - read posts here, look on the internet generally, read books, ring a helpline or maybe find short term therapy just for that. (By coping/grounding skills I mean things like journalling, deep breathing, focusing on your senses, distracting yourself, comforting yourself etc.)

I know this might sound tough, but support from the NHS is likely to always be limited and perhaps delayed. It's really important to develop your own coping strategies and seek out information and help for this. Rather than seeing this time as holding on until help arrives, can you see it as a time to develop strategies for yourself?

Coping and taking care of ourselves is essential through any trauma work anyway. I think therapy is invaluable, but the time is short and we have to find ways to get through all the other hours of the week.

I had to wait six months before I had any kind of therapy, and I felt completely lost, alone and tormented by the unbearable memories and feelings. Looking back, I think it was actually better that I had that time because I really had to find things I could do to support myself and put them into practice.

I know it's really difficult. I'm not suggesting this is easy, just that it's necessary, however hard it is.

I'm sorry you're having such an awful time.

 

[Meadowsweet]

I'm in a similar position, that tier 1 MH won't treat me because my trauma (and dissociation) is too complex to treat in 20 sessions.

I was told that tier 2 MH would assess my dissociation etc, but it would be at least 12 months before any therapy would start.

But my therapist found out about what else was available locally, and I'm now waiting for therapy from a rape/sexual abuse charity.

MIND is a MH charity. But if you have specific type of trauma, there are other charities out there.

Don't give up hope, there are people who care.