How Can Some People Cause So Much Damage And Get Away With It?

[macbeth]

Wow @Fadeaway, I think I could have written your post. I don't understand it either. I tried for so long to understand it then gave up because it defies logic (and gave me a headache). The one thing I did learn was that give it long enough and these people will bring themselves undone. My ex husband behaved like that for so long even his parents have no contact with him anymore. He is alone and he's done it to himself (yet that's still my fault)!!! Go figure!

I trust that things have a way of working out-even though I dont know how.

:hug:s and best wishes Fadeaway.

 

[shimmerz]

All I know is I cant be one of those people. I just dont have it in me.

Keep working @Fadeaway! I swear - just keep working at it. Learn every day and it may not seem like you are making progress but you are! I am with a good man now and I know this. He is like no other I have been with and that is because of the shift in me - seeing people for who they are.

I can't be one of those either - both my ex's have millions I walked away from. I have been homeless, no longer can work the way I did. Am poverty striken, but I can't be one of those either. I am proud of that. No matter what the cost. I don't know if you give yourself credit for the strength it takes to not be one of those - then let me give it to you. I send you all the warmth in the world and even though you may feel alone and alien in this world,, you are not. There are others out there like you.

 

[Crayon]

I have a saying. Never cry over something or someone that can not cry over you.

Wow....
I'm going to write this in the little book I always carry around for when I feel bad or triggered - thank you.

I realized something a while back, maybe I should share:
Sociopaths and psychopaths will never become happy in their life. No matter how much cars they own, how much kids/money they have or what neighborhood or expensive houses they live in. They will never ever become happy because they do not have the capability to love someone, even if they try. Amidst all of their wealth/friends/family, they will always feel unsatisfied, unloved. That black gap of nothingness inside them will consume them slowly. They will die alone and unhappy, and probably feel that way right now.
There's a huge difference what you see on the outside, and what creeps on the inside. The outside is just a mask.

Addendum:
Sociopathy and psychopathy are traits that, under the right circumstances, can get you 'far' in life. It does not come as a surprise to me they have a lot of money and look very successful. Imagine you have to choose between a salary cut, or firing 50 people. Or you want to get a promotion at work, but there's just that one colleague who needs to get out of the way. How far would you go to get your way? There was a documentary a while back that actually measured the amount of socio/psychopathy in managers in prestigious corporations. It can be a bit triggering, I cannot paste the link but you can find it on Youtube, it's a documentary by "I am fishhead" and called "Are corporate leaders psychopaths?"

 

[shimmerz]

No matter how much cars they own, how much kids/money they have or what neighborhood or expensive houses they live in. They will never ever become happy because they do not have the capability to love someone, even if they try. Amidst all of their wealth/friends/family, they will always feel unsatisfied, unloved.

This is what I have found. I wouldn't change places with one of them for all the things in the world. Nor all the power in the world. I tried living with them but I couldn't do it. God love the women who love them - because their souls get lost as sociopaths feed off of the souls of those who surround them and adore them. Their wives can have them! I have no regrets in that way.

It is my children that concern me. They are innocent to it but they are adults now and need to go through the process of seeing what is happening to them by adoring this man. Stepchildren as well. I hope their journey is a safe one. I wish them my love but cannot be involved in what is happening to them until they come to it themselves.

 

[silkleaves]

Thats very true @Crayon ...I know with my last ex, I would sit in amazement while he would say he feels like hes nowhere in life, that something is missing, and he was just constantly complaining about everything and everyone.

Yet, he makes a very good living in a dream career that most people never get a shot at, hes incredibly talented, smart, good looking could (and did) have any woman he set his sights on, is now married, just had a baby. I have no idea what he thinks of his life now, we don't talk anymore...though every so often a close friend of mine tells me he keeps asking about me and my daughter and how much he misses us, and she tells him to Eff off and stop mentioning me to her, that he lost his right to any part of my life. She has told me, he has everything, yet he is still miserable.

And still yet, it does not make me feel better to know this...because I have nothing and am miserable. We're in the same sea, just that I'm floating along in a dingy and he's cruising in a yacht. All the same, that way of life, of thinking, of treating people.. Its not something I get, and I don't want to get it. I do feel, and having something like that hanging over my head, leaving people feeling and being in a worse position in life all because of me, is not something I could ever live with.

 

[xena21]

I was a law enforcement officer so that's I guess how I view the post. I just wonder it got this far if he had done such illegal acts with his prior partner?

 

[Ladyghosthunter]

I must say, I 've been wondering this myself for many many many years. The damage started with my great grandfather giving my grandmother to her mother's sister at age 3 because her mother died of pneumonia. Great grandfather took off with my grandmother's two brothers and was never heard from again until one showed up unexpectedly when my grandmother was in the nursing home. She never got to know her parents and that, in turn, started the cycle of abuse, abandonment, narcissism, insults, mental illnesses, and various other things that destroyed what was supposed to be a normal life. For all of these "gifts" they brought to the table, I have PTSD, told my family that I no longer want anything to do with them because of what they've done after 42 years, and am now in the cycle of doing what I need to do to help myself in making a better rest of my life. These people do not think they've done anything wrong because narcissists only think of what others have done to them and so do abusers and that we, the innocents, deserve what they dish out because they have no other way to express themselves. My life is turning right side up because of my religious calling and it's getting better.

 

[Go Hungry]

I wonder this too. My primary abuser is so well off. He has the house and the kids and the job and his bible and everything is just so good for him now. Meanwhile I'm barely making ends meet while having to take money from my retired mom just so I can keep food in the fridge. He goes on vacations to Disney world while I'm a shivering wreck.

And he seriously, I mean 100% believes that he never did anything wrong. I remember one time bringing it up that I had to walk around armed because scaring him off was my only effective defense. That I had to reach for weapons to get him to runaway because it was the only way to stop him. (Which meant automatic damnation, as it was the Devil's Way.) That I had to walk around my house carrying knives and hammers and chains, had to make sure I was always within reaching distance of lamps or ashtrays or something, anything that could be a weapon, because threatening him with it was literally the only thing that worked. Logic, reason, debate, invocation of jesus; nothing would stop his fists except for the bluff of grievous bodily harm. That he turned my life into a goddamn war zone...

Get this. He said that he forgave me. That he would never tell anybody about all the things I had done to him. I don't know what goes on inside his head. I've had him say more than once that certain things never happened, when I know they did. I'm not sure if he's a psycho or if he's somehow blocked everything out.

Sorry for rambling, got carried away.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Toxic Christianity is a living hell Go Hungry.

My dad told me if he had it to do over again he would do the same things.

I think their first language is lies they believe. They only back down in the face of raw power. Just my opinion.

 

[Changing4Best]

I'm Christian, and even I can relate, as the man who molested me when I was a very small child was Catholic, so I am Protestant in more ways than one!!! None the less, I have met some nice Catholics too, so I don't want to blast Christians at all or Catholics, but it is hell when they hide behind their faith and are such jerks, yes indeed!

 

[silkleaves]

I started to write, but then realized what I was posting was probably better off a topic for my journal, so I started one. But wanted to say that I can empathize with how the role someone else's mental illness combined with religion can have a huge effect on us.

 

[shimmerz]

I just wonder it got this far if he had done such illegal acts with his prior partner?

Because it is domestic and nobody truly cares. They just don't want to come back to the house and whoever is calm cool and collected is who they listen to. As I was a shivering shaking, could barely talk pile of nerves he could easily point his finger and say 'see what I put up with' and the male police officers nod their heads, pat him on the shoulder with knowing eyes and walk out the door.

Then he turns to you - his eyes change into the devils, he snarls and it continues again. How many times can you call? When the police come back it happens all over again and they eventually don't come to your calls because you have 'mental health issues'. Seriously? I HAVE mental health issues? No, I am reacting as any normal person would.

That's how it happens.