How Can You Tell Intuition From Paranoia In Dating Relationships?

[Anarchy]

I feel like there's a deeper reason to be pissed about our guys gauking over another girl other than jealousy. Our society has set up a standard of beauty that's just ridiculous and unrealistic

The looking is automatic,
Pattern recognition picks up signals of "fertility" or whatever, and the movement happens before the conscious brain has even got the message, that's when you get the very embarrassed looking away again quickly.

Scott Adams, who draws the Dilbert cartoons had a good blog post about a year ago - discussing the idea that artists with photoshop can create images that hit all of the right places in a male brain, far harder than any living human ever could.
You ladies have evolved to detect committment, so you tend to be a bit less prone to the purely visual cues than males are.

so months later after i had a list built up i laid it on him thick made him feel like a real a-hole....

Ouch! careful with that! If something he does bugs you, try to let him know as close to the time as possible. Reacting to stuff from the distant past, rather than what is in the present is a PTSD thing, but it is not the best way to achieve your desired ends. Remember - the photos or the eye candy in the mall, won't give him grief for something he did 3 months ago.

but it won't give him a hug either... although it might take a little while for him to work that part out.
__________________________
ps
I have a friend who's ex could find porn taped to the underside of a drawer within 40 minutes of him bringing it into the house. When they first met, she told him that she didn't get jealous...

 

[iwannadeletethis]

The looking is automatic,
Pattern recognition picks up signals of "fertility" or whatever, and the move...

@Anarchy !! I love it.. I love the scientific response.. And the different point of view!! I want to offer you a challenge to back your theory up. Give me a link or article(by a female) or a way to contact a female that will back this up. It's always the guys who tell me this sort of thing. If you succeed, you validate a point and help one more female to understand!! I've been very close to discipline minded men who DONT DO THIS. I don't want to believe that the rest are scoundrels. It's bad for moral.

 

[Anarchy]

I want to offer you a challenge to back your theory up. Give me a link or article(by a female) or a way to contact a female that will back this up.

damn, that didn't stand for long...:blackeye:

In defense of males, I will make three attempts.

1. I've been very close to discipline minded men who DONT DO THIS.

   Their pattern recognition wasn't working...
   
2. you ladies do it too, you're just more subtle...
3. The brain is the biggest sex organ of them all, I see your challenge, and raise you "give me a link to a male who can offer evidence that female orgasms actually do exist, and are not just a lie used by women to make genuine guys feel guilty"

and from Scott Adams
http://dilbert.com/strip/1992-09-27

 

[ground crew]

No, we are all scoundrels, some are just better at not getting caught. Again, sorry. I also look at fast cars and fast horses, neither of which can I afford.

 

[iwannadeletethis]

damn, that didn't stand for long...:blackeye:

I'm not trying to make an argument. @Anarchy .. I'm asking you to help me believe. When I was a Christian, my mind was so disciplined for their form of purity, that I never looked at a man like that unless I was with him. I had to learn to check guys out. I'm still learning. Because I was tired of being so completely faithful and most of the men I was with weren't. One day I said "f*ck it" and forced myself into what I would consider a shallower mindset.
The original challenge still stands. Unless, you can't back it up?

 

[iwannadeletethis]

No, we are all scoundrels, some are just better at not getting caught. Again, sorry. I also look at...

If this is absolutely true.. Than why should anyone be in a committed relationship? Is this why the higher a woman's IQ, the less likely she is to get married and settle down? You either want to be with a woman, or you don't. That's messed up if all men are saying one thing and doing another. There's no respect for that.

 

[Anarchy]

Joking aside, I do find that I have extremely good and unconscious pattern recognition for women who i find visually attractive.

That can often work before I'm close enough to consciously make out that they are female, I must be unconsciously picking up on their gait or some other cue that says female, young, physically fit.

It is entirely possible that I've picked it up as a bad habit, but I do find that I have picked up on women and locked on before I've consciously realized that I'm doing it.

At a conscious level, I try not to perv, and I only go for relationships, but at some unconscious level, visually attractive females stand out in a crowd. I also find (p[erhaps due to thinner summer clothing) that I pick up on them more in the warmer months. We are after all slightly seasonal breeders.

 

[Anarchy]

don't conflate looking with any intention of touching

 

[ThursdayZimBobWayz]

No, we are all scoundrels, some are just better at not getting caught. Again, sorry. I also look at...

excellent ...feels good letting the truth out

 

[ThursdayZimBobWayz]

damn, that didn't stand for long...:blackeye:

In defense of males, I will make three attempts.

lol female orgasms exist? whaaaa

 

[ThursdayZimBobWayz]

The looking is automatic,
Pattern recognition picks up signals of "fertility" or whatever, and the move...

I have gotten better at saying ... " why do you do / or say stupid things that P_-_- me off?" at the time and place he does things now.... the only result i get is that I'm crazy or insane which is why i tried to leave it inside hoping to forget about it... now that i have found out personally that I just get more mad letting it sit inside .. now i speak up sometimes i end up more upset than what i started off being with... Jealousy is just an evil emotion that will continue to chomp away eating up my life

 

[ground crew]

If this is absolutely true.. Than why should anyone be in a committed relationship? Is this why the high...

High iq's are self eliminating in the gene pool. See Big Bang theory. Turns out big brains don't show in a swim suit for either gender. We are all animals and we all look for the physically attractive which likely includes a low body fat, but enough, general smooth gait and movement and good hair and teeth. Gender neutral.