How Can You Tell Intuition From Paranoia In Dating Relationships?

[iwannadeletethis]

A couple of years back, I went along with a good looking friend to pick up a soft top Bentley continenta...

It does @Anarchy @ground crew !! Because it's such a break and so refreshing. Some females might even be like, "hey wait a minute, why isn't he paying attention to me?"

 

[ground crew]

I am in better shape now than any time since basic training (38 years ago). So my normal way of getting by has been to be charming and often funny. Now I am looking good in jeans and a t shirt, still got the charm act going, i seem to have flustered some cashiers and waitresses. This is new. And yes, I am being very selective. I will be alone before I get into a bad relationship.

 

[Anarchy]

Some females might even be like, "hey wait a minute, why isn't he paying attention t...

That was certainly the impression that I got from those female cops

 

[SnowJo]

I wish I worked like that!! I'll wait a while to date.. Maybe think I'm ready to try something slowly.....

It's too dangerous to date for me. My peace of mind is more precious to me. When I find someone that doesn't rattle my serenity and they are positive towards my daughter and grandkids then I would consider after a long period of friendship first. But I ain't looking :). I have lost too much from the years I lead my life with my hormones in my 20's and 30's and learnt the hard way

 

[Anarchy]

I spent a couple of hours keeping a pal company last night as he waited to have a broken arm seen to.
Sitting opposite us was a young male of about 20, with his face bruised to help, and one eye so swollen he could not hold it open with his fingers. I kept telling him to get his dirty fingers out of it.

We jokingly asked him what the other guy looked like. It turns out his girlfriend had done it!

They d had some wine, he d fallen asleep and someone had poked him on social media. His girlfriend had gone through his social media, and he'd got woken up by her beating the crp out of him, he'd fought back to get her off (his story), an she d run to a neighbour s and called the Filth, who had arrested him and stuck him in a cell from Sunday morning til Tuesday night. He also appeared in court, all without ever being seen by a quack, or any record made of his bruises... Thanks to the cops and their procedures, its now a very messy he said/she said legal situation

When I was listening, I was thinking what sort of hurt and abandonment that woman must have experienced to be so dramatically triggered by whatever was on his social media.

It's a really shitty, former steel making town, where many of the population have been on welfare payments for over thirty years. I guess that the involvement of the cops and the poverty of the area will pretty much ensure that she never ets to work through whatever feelings got triggered.

 

[iwannadeletethis]

I spent a couple of hours keeping a pal company last night as he waited to have a broken arm seen to.
Si...

@Anarchy WOW!! That's nuts. You honestly don't know what goes on behind closed doors. Everyone has a perspective. She could've been psycho.. Or he could've been a manipulator pushing her to her limits while making her feel trapped. I've had guys do that to me, and when I react and they don't, I'm the one that looks crazy and they look innocent. And I've never even done anything violent. You just never know. I hope they both pursue healthy living.

 

[ground crew]

I don't know the situation with the ER guy, but from personel experiance, the man's story is always suspect and the woman is assumed to be the victim. Just like the cultural bias that triggers cops to shoot people of color, there is a cultural bias on gender. (I hope the guy in the ER that gives lie to my words.) I do agree that men do more physical abuse and have a more violent history. But at least sometimes, the men are victims.

 

[iwannadeletethis]

I don't know the situation with the ER guy, but from personel experiance, the man's story is always...

Right!! @ground crew .. But you just never know unless you're in it. People are so complicated.

 

[ground crew]

Yes, I will not stand up for a man abusing a woman or anybody abusing a kid.

Regardless of how richly he deserved it, tiger woods blow to the head met the criteria for domestic violence. Had he not perjured himself trying to save the relationship, the outcome would have been very different. IE, she would have been a felon, and unlikely to get custody or money. (What tiger woods did was abusive also, on an emotional level. I wont defend what he did, but what he did does not rise to felony. )

 

[iwannadeletethis]

Yes, I will not stand up for a man abusing a woman or anybody abusing a kid.

Regardless of how ric...

Yup! Agreed :)

 

[Anarchy]

WOW!! That's nuts. You honestly don't know what goes on behind closed doors.

I've seen estimates as high as 25% of couples coming to "violence" but I don't know what was being counted as "violence".

Everyone has a perspective.

Oh yes!
Something in his actions or his social media has triggered her to hell, and her inner lizard (inner viper?) has jumped into the driving seat. Lacking a partner's eyes isn't the best of ways to hang onto them (though that said, I can't remember whether the supposed average is 7 or 15 attempts to leave, before people finally get away and stay away from a violent partner for good).

Regardless of how richly he deserved it,

That's something of a boundaries one. However many of my buttons someone else's actions push, any action that I take is 100% my own. It's not always easy in practice - especially when most of us were raised in environments with some very confused boundaries - just look at any news coverage of someone who has drawn a cartoon of a certain guy with a beard who lived in the seventh century (christian era) in Mecca, and the response of some individuals who revere that rather paranoid and control freaky predator. there seams to be a magical belief ammongst some in the news media that one person scribbling on a bit of paper can control the minds of the idiots who then go kill people.

Getting back to the woman who punched hell out of the guy's face, I'm guessing she was triggered into an abandoned little girl state.