Luke, I think you already were leaving when the thoughts of the other woman started. That's ok, but you had plans of a 'potential alternative option', part of your heart couldn't really give unreservedly to your ex. Possibly you've been dealing (thus) with this 'break-up' with both a year's notice and an 'alternative', she may well not have thought that way.
Have you thought that, she may do just great, and you may both find happiness with others who are a better 'fit'? Some of the supporters here, difficult as things are, sound like they actually have far better-than-average relationships and commitment with and to each other. The problems are there, sure- as they are with all relationships- after all this is a 'ptsd forum', and people are here to vent and seek help, and support. But if(some of) the qualities of an above or 'very good' relationship include openness, communication, honesty, support, forgiveness, understanding,patience, trust, even great love, they are very much represented in so many of the relationships on this forum (I think).
Because with ptsd, you're as good as trusting someone with your life, one heck of a compliment on both sides of the fence.
It will never be your fault if she acts out badly, just as you have not failed if she hits it off and thrives with someone else and you question why didn't she feel that way with you. Her decisions are also her own- and she has the right to make them. Even things which may seem 'wrong' to you, may lead her to wonderful places and people, you just never know.
