How Do I Get Over

[sonicwhite]

my ex. I often find myself ruminating how good it would of been without the secrets and drugs to destroy our relationship. I just want to come to terms with how brutal the break up was. It is kinda like a movie were the soldier goes to war and they get a note back saying he's dead so she gets with someone else only to find out that he's not dead...


And all that I went through for the fear of her and my life. How do I get past the point where I say it's over. There is nothing that can be done.


I was in a relationship three years ago hoping this would erase the traumatic memories I had with my ex. All I did was make the person who liked me suffer because I could not cope with the seven year breakup. So instead of dragging the one through the water I just told her the way I felt. I know it hurt her but it was better then dragging her through the mud. She got with someone else and is happy.



So I guess me and my therapist have to work on movin past want happened. Not wishing for a miracle but just moving on. It's so hard when you see the person and all these feelings start to bubble to the surface. Friendship would never work. I just want out of my head.

 

[sonicwhite]

I'm just so tired of seeing what could of been. I want to accept what is.

 

[MoonGoddessHeart]

@sonicwhite I don't really understand what happened here... But I am sorry for the lose with your ex. Sometimes, we have to let go of the people we love. That is showing them we love them the most.

 

[sonicwhite]

I'm often tormented by my break up in 05. So many things happen all at once that I was in no shape to be seen by my ex at the time. It just ruined my life. What I did gain out of it is assurance that I and her are going to heaven.


I'm just trying to get past the traumatic break up I had. She is ok. But, my mind is scarred. Dark secrets can ruin relationships so it's best to be honest with everything. Don't let your egos get in the way.


I'm just often haunted and I don't know how to get this thorn out of my side.

 

[Lilith Jane]

It sounds like although this happened quite a long time ago, it is still unresolved for you. Is there anything you can do to work toward resolution and closure? I'm sorry you're still suffering from this, but I hope you can process through it so that it loses some of its power in your life.

 

[sonicwhite]

It waxes and wanes. I become very loving than I get jealous. It's like these feelings will not go away.


It's been eleven years. In a lot of ways I feel like a stalker even tho I don't even stalk. The only thing I've done was asked for a sincere apology from her. I gave her mine in 09 and she just gave me this lukewarm apology.


I don't care if she's dating or married I hope she has a wonderful life. I'm more concerned with these rotten feelings I have for a person that changed a long time ago.


Why can't I get a grip and just say farewell and have a nice life. Instead I ruminate why this or that happened. Problem solving which over the years I can see why she acted the way she did.


Even tho she did something very seriously wrong I forgive. I just want my mind erased. Like what would happen to go to heaven and there is no more pain. Please Abba Father take this anguish from me.

 

[Lilith Jane]

It waxes and wanes. I become very loving than I get jealous. It's like these feelings will not go aw...

I believe (and have experienced) that God can take our anguish away. (David wrote about this a lot!) The thing is, we often want him to just work an instantaneous miracle and remove it immediately. But more often, God does it through a process that we have to walk through and actively participate in. May you keep walking forward and learning and growing in the ways He has for you.