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Dom Violence How do i get the courage to leave?

  • Post starter Post starter nadineN
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nadineN

I have been married to him over 7 years now, we have an almost 2 year old boy, at the start of our relationship he was really sweet and funny guy, we hit it off and when time went on he started showing his not-so-good side. At first he would just scream and yell at me, then came the physical abuse, a couple of times he would come to me with a knife, try to choke me, slap me around. That was about 5 years ago, the physical abuse has stopped, but he still yells, screams when the kid is around, when my relatives are around. I don’t work, im a stay at home mom. It’s always about how i don’t do anything. How im so lazy, or that i should go to work and he would look after the kid (this is beacsue i told him to give the little guy a bath) Before i used to cry a lot, but now i can’t even do that. Im always walking on egg shells, im so afraid of him, afraid when his next outburst would be. He knows im vulnerable, that i don’t have money and i don’t have anybody, so he uses it to his advantage. Im so sick of this, sometimes i would imagine how i would just kill mysef or how i would threaten him with a knife, in my mind also i would never be able to actually physically harm him because im coward.
 
Are there domestic violence shelter resources in your area? Maybe a local YWCA or something similar?

I'm sorry for what you're going through. I'm currently trying to leave a partner as well.
 
Hi NadineN, welcome to the forum.

I'm sorry for what you are going through. I've been with my partner 15 plus years and haven't left yet either. Everything ive read about it days it is hard to leave. I get the impression that every baby step towards your goal counts if you know what I mean? Lots of places I've read that having a plan is important. Getting in touch with a DV organisation too. And if you don' have luck with the first DV worker you talk to trying another and another untill you find one that helps.

Also two books I have found very helpful ~
Patricia Evans The Verbally Abusive Relationship
Lundy Bancroft Why Does He Do That?

Rereading both books regularly is helping me break some of the beliefs that have kept me trapped.
 
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