Supporter How Do I Help Her...?

[Joey]

Hey. First off I'm glad I found a place that help looks promising and I thank anyone who replies in advance.

My girlfriend(22) and I(19) have known each other for a year now and she suffers from PTSD. We get along great and I'm deeply in love with her, have been since the day I met her. She has a great personality and makes everyone around her happy... when her PTSD isn't affecting her.

She's been suffering almost her entire life, she's attempted suicide multiple times and has run away from home to try and escape the pain of childhood neglect and emotional abuse. She wasn't diagnosed with PTSD at an early stage so she's told it'll be harder for her to get better.

She has told me that being with me has been the biggest turning point for her(for the good), but I feel like there is still more I should be able to do for her. I've tried researching to find out what exactly I should do, but most things I read are in regard to short-term or unrelated issues or don't provide clear enough detail.

I try to talk about it to her, but other than the initial problem, she usually refuses to tell me anything. I try to take care of her the best I can and always let her know I'm here for her to talk about it to, but it seems like she'd rather keep it bottled up. I'm afraid it will start to severely effect our relationship.

So, I'm here to ask:

What should I do?

If more information is needed, I'd be glad to provide it. I'm willing to do anything to make things better for her.

 

[ClairBear226]

A good place to start might be to understand PTSD as much as you can. That seems to be a large hurdle for many PTSD relationships to overcome. Understanding exactly what you're both dealing with. There's good information and support here on the forum, but I'd also suggest reading the Wiki sections. Good luck and welcome.

 

[PepperAnne]

Hi.. I suffer from C-PTSD and went undiagnosed for 30+ years... There is no Cure, only learing to cope. It isn't easy being in a relationship with someone who has PTSD, I put a lot of strain on my husband and my children. I never mean to be a problem to others, but I find myself often Isolating and bottling things up, because I never feel understood. The thing that works the best for me it to know that when I do share my feeling of what is happening for me, is to have those feeling validated. To have someone say to me, I am sorry that that happened to you, and it wasn't your fault, you didn't deserve that... etc.

My advice would be to do a lot of reading and learning, and remember that PTSD is lifelong, so it is a big commitment, there is no easy answer, but if you are willing to be there and be supportive, than I believe she is a luck women.