How Do I Help My Brother With Depression

[shell]

I recently reconnected with my brother and we agreed to help each other with being each others support when we are each feeling really down, but now I'm scared I'm way out of my depth.

I'm really concerned with how suicidal he seems to feel from feeling unworthy and rejected from neither of my parents refusing to accept how bad our abuse was, and placing the blame back on us for our supposed actions.

While I have suggested he speak to his therapist, my mother has told me money is tight for him at the moment so I'm not sure he is in the position to really afford more sessions.

I haven't covered anything on building self esteem and feeling unloved, unworthy etc. yet in therapy, so I am at a loss to suggest anything to improve how he feels as it is triggering his suicidal thoughts. Does anyone have any suggestions so I can be more supportive.

 

[Lionheart]

My humble opinion is that it would be in your brother's best interest to take a 72 hour "vacation" and let himself be hospitalized....(it's what I do when the depression gets the best of me). During the 3 days I get to rest, get individual and group therapy, and a team of doctors work on medication management to ensure I am on the proper dosage and medicine for my PTSD and Depression.

When it comes to suicidal feelings and tendencies, I would try to get him to talk to you and to his therapist, taking any threats as a serious warning sign that he needs immediate medical attention.

Sometimes, I have suicidal thoughts without any intention to harm myself and these come and go from time to time, but there are also the times when I start to plan a course of action to take my own life and this is a big red flag that I need to be hospitalized until I am more emotionally stable.

It is important that you and your bother both know and understand that PTSD and depression symptoms can and will get a lot better as long as you continue on a healing path, getting the appropriate professional help and attention that you need.

I wish you both the best,
LH

 

[ronin47]

There's a saying, "Misery Loves Company." I would just be careful what your are doing will actually be helping your brother rather than just giving him a safe place to feel sorry for himself. I'm not suggesting your brother's a faker, only that you shouldn't be afraid to show a little tough love when the occasion calls for it. I would perhaps focus on developing coping skills with your therapist and then share specificaly those skills with your brother. Remember not to allow each other's depression to transfer. It does your brother no service if you are simply depressed with him. Share the tools you acquire in therapy with him, and let him apply them on his own, then maybe convene at some time over lunch together and talk about what you came up with. I know for me my therapist might suggest a coping method and when I actually try putting it into practice I might come up with my own little twist on it.

And, first and foremost, remember you can't help others not be depressed if you yourself are in the clutches of depression. You can't give what you don't have. If you don't have happieness, then you can't give it to others.