How Do I Keep Myself From Freaking Out On Public Transit?

[Justmehere]

I have been in an oddly high number of car accidents in the early part of April. (6 of them) I have never been in a car accident any other time of year. I was the driver in some of them, I was the passenger in others. One time, a pole came off a car in front of us and hit the windshield right at face level. It missed impaling my head by just an inch.

It began when I was a kid. An adult pushed me out of a car going quite fast. It happened in the beginning of April. Then as an adult, when I started dealing with PTSD in a big way, I started getting in car accidents in April. It took awhile for me to realize it was always happening in April and to realize that it was linked to what happened when I was a kid.

I was on the bus today and suddenly it felt like the bus was going to hit the car in front of us. I was suddenly cowering, bracing for impact, and screaming. I don’t know how long it lasted. One moment, I was sitting there. The next moment I was hearing myself scream and bracing for impact. It was humiliating. Thankfully, it was a very slow bus route and the driver stopped the bus and asked if I was ok. I apologized about a million times, and he said it’s ok…

I have never been in an accident on public transit, but I suddenly reacted like one was going to happen.

I take buses and trains every day. How do I keep this kind of reaction from happening on public transit? I’m not sure what to do right now. I’m home, pacing, nervous… not sure why.

 

[open eyes]

It seems like a big part of your problem is that you're expecting yourself to freak out, before anything even happens. You can be ready to handle anxiety without anticipating it. Different things work for different people, but do you have any PRN's for anxiety? If so, have you tried taking them before getting on the bus? Maybe you could put ear phones in & blast music while you're on the bus, if distraction helps.

 

[Justmehere]

I don't have any PRNs for anxiety. Feeling sedated is a trigger so quick acting anxiety meds backfire for me. I was actually wearing earphones earlier - but I just realized I was listening to something slightly triggering (not on purpose) about another kind of trauma that came on the radio documentary I was listening too. I love the idea of blasting some good distracting music! Thanks!

 

[SeanCharles]

I know that the community in which I live has public transit, they also have a para-transit system. I don't know if other places have such a system. This para-transit system is a van system which is basically like a bus, but is curb to curb. You pay a fare from point A to point B. I know that my community was, I am sure how successful they have been at changing their riders who may or may not be suitable for the bus. I don't see myself needing this van service because I am functional enough to use the bus system. (Seems to me I have fewer physically disabling features) I would check and see if your community has a similar transit system. Just a thought I'd throw out.

 

[Notsowild]

I feel for you @Justmehere... I have the same problems with public transit and my last trauma was a car accident. I agree with @open eyes headphones help also reading or writing just to distract our busy thoughts.

 

[Justmehere]

@Geordie - that's a good idea, I will look into it. Thanks!

@Notsowild - sorry you are in the same boat too. :hug:

 

[SeanCharles]

:hug: I can understand the fear involved having been in vehicle accidents. I know that the bus system we have in town has had some involvement in accidents. The drivers of the buses were never the cause of those accidents, other drivers of other vehicles were usually the problem. I know that doesn't ease the mind, but then too, bus drivers are also human and probably have seen some fairly crazy driving around them too.

 

[Justmehere]

Today I was walking home from the store about 5 blocks away, and I saw all theses flashing lights near my block. There was a massive accident that happened while I was in the store. The street has a speed limit of 35 mph, but whatever happened was awful. There were cars on the sidewalk, jaws of life was tearing off car doors, so many ambulances that were taking off with people inside... I held on tight to my dog, threw up, and went numb. I wasn't even sure where I was for a moment. I walked the other way. I'm hanging out at a nearby coffee shop until all the commotion dies down and I can walk home.

ugh. the world is simply a dangerous place.

@Geordie - thanks for understanding. We have a lot of buses in the college town I live in, and they are pretty good drivers. Between the cars, the many bicyclists, cars, drivers, pedestrians... it's surprising there are not more accidents.

I'm looking forward to talking to my therapist this week and processing the trauma of the accidents I have been in.

 

[SeanCharles]

:hug: @Justmehere very good idea addressing your accident trauma.

ugh. the world is simply a dangerous place.

It may appear as such, but too bad things do happen to good people, as do good things happening to bad people. It's a circular yet balanced place in which we live. Life is what we make of it.