Relationship How Do You Know When To Say Something

[Jane1234]

I thought part of communication was to communicate? I have learned a lot from my sufferer and talking about things are so very important....which I'm not good at. My husband started saying things 2 weeks ago which is a pattern of his. "Why do you sleep with your legs pulled up...I'll sleep in the other room. Why do you look so unhappy. Why are you quiet. Your not yourself. Yesterday he spoke about how he felt trapped in his first 7 year marriage (pre ptsd). I said no one should ever feel trapped and as we get older we realize that.... Last night he said he didnt feel well and slept in the other room...which he does sometimes. Well I got brave this am and told him I was glad he was going to see his therapist this morning. I explained I was concerned that he was having a hard time with insecurities and his PTDS. I reassured him that I love him and I'm not going anywhere and never want him to think that. Well it blew up in my face. He said he slept in the other room because he didnt feel well and at 3am I was sprawled out in the bed and didn't want to wake me up. He appreciated my thoughtfulness but I was wrong. Well he hasn't spoken to me much today and has spent most of the day out. Just when you think your doing the right thing its wrong. This pattern has happened before with these questions and they are never correct. I also explained that I understand he was trained to study peoples body language but sometimes its not what you think. Everyone has a quiet day!! This is so hard sometimes. I'm not feeling bad for myself but my god at times I feel I'm really bad at this. Next time I'll just say I love you and I'm here if you want to talk about anything. He said I confused him this morning but he appreciated my candor

 

[BlueOrange]

Talking is something you need to do for yourself. There's a skill component to it; if it goes wrong at first, then you try again.

Therapists are really useful at helping us work out how to talk. I think you'd find it useful to have one of your own.