Relationship How Do You Move Past The Guilt?

[the8track]

Yesterday my girlfriend said she needed "space". You can read the back-story in the "Introduction" forum.

From reading this site I believe this will most likely be temporary. Sunday she had asked me to be patient with her when she's hateful and said she loved me and apologized for being so hurtful.

My question is, when she comes back around, how do I manage any guilt she'll have? How do I show a person with PTSD that I can forgive when they already can't handle feeling anything other than unworthiness?

 

[Tinyflame]

I would just say, her guilt is her's to manage.

BUT, by not getting angry and 'reacting' when things are bad (I don't mean not having boundaries, of course, I just mean not adding to it), that will help later, if that makes any sense.

And to be 'normal'. People with ptsd seem to have a radar for other's emotions. If you are uptight, or act differently, good chance she will see that as validation or 'proof' that's her (fault)/ because of her. And 'pay back' never works.

I guess expressing forgiveness helps, too. if she brings it up. I've found it's hard to forgive ('ourselves'), because also we know it's likely to re-occur, at some level or some point. At least when it does, it seems to reinforce that managing it (ptsd) is a futile battle.

It helps to be stable and consistent, when she is not. I think that is a very big part because I think (for anyone) we 'show' or 'live' forgiveness best (better than words which do not correspond to actions).