How Do You Stand Prolonged Eye Contact?

[James B.]

This is such a cool thread. Right off I empathize with GodSeeker and agree with anni - staring is just plain rude. Not sure if "not looking at someone" (not seeking eye contact?) is a (universal) sign of guilt, IMO. For instance its common knowledge (documented) in amature surfing that seeking eye contact is a sign of weakness. Being aloof and looking past another, never making eye contact, is dominant.

 

[James B.]

Additionally, in The Book Of Water, Miyamoto Musashi notes that stance is an important part of "strategy" (suggesting eye contact is not seperate from facial expression or body english) He wrote: "Adopt a stance with the head erect neither hanging down, nor looking up, nor twisted."

This is part of what Musashi notes as *wedging in*. "Weding in" - eyes straight ahead is an interesting idea for creating a space through a group of people one wishes to move through, etc. Maintaining a *distraction free* headspace no matter what was going on in the immediate surroundings, was an all important part or Musashi's methods.

In regards to the *Gaze* of someone, Musashi notes that a person must be able to perceive that which is all around them, *without* moving their eyeballs noticeably which is said to be a skill which takes an enormous amount of practice to perfect. Have tried this while driving - basically actively using peripheral vision without moving the eye - way fun and way hard. :-)

 

[Jline]

People always stare at me, i've become numb to it. It's when they come up and try to touch me or sniff me that I get upset, yes, sniff, sniff...ick.

 

[Anna]

When I am in a new situation I find it very hard to make eye contact, I tend to avoid people, when I feel at ease or am emotionally numb I can maintain eye contact and stare people out.

If people continually stare at me I may pull a funny face or make a comment like above "Take a picture it lasts longer". Normally my gaze makes them turn away.

If I am in the hypervigilant stage it makes me really nervous and I get paranoid when people look at me.

 

[NIKI]

I can not look people in the eye. I feel very uncomfortable. I think it is because my father made me look at him when I was being screamed at. I was not allowed to look away. I felt trapped in that stare.

 

[sea]

Staring contest. :geek:

 

[NIKI]

Staring contest...I'd lose. :barefoot:

 

[Anna]

Look into my eye:eek:

hehe

 

[freakofnurture]

I stare at people, especially when I'm listening to them. When I'm talking myself I look at everything but their face. I don't know why.

 

[Helliepig]

I hate catching people's eyes in the supermarket, it sort of fear I'll be overpowered somehow, at their bidding, nowhere to hide. They'll expect something from me I wont want to give. Actually it isn't as concious as that, it's just an instant feeling.

 

[southernbelle]

Normal eye contact is ok with me but intentional staring especially by the opposite sex bothers me if it's a very intense stare what I could call a predatory stare. It makes me very anxious and I will have the fight or flight urge. One of the reasons I joined up was because of my PTSD being triggered by someone I know and this person has stared at me in that way which just has made matters worse for me. How do I deal? I get as far away from the person as possible until his "mood" swings back to "normal". It's difficult to explain. I do not like moody men. :O_o: