How Does Your Supporter Respond..

[theotherside]

I just slipped back into the dark. All of a sudden. I had been doing better keeping ny mind off things..not cured though, thats for sure.
I took my little one out by myself for the first time in a loooong time. It was high stress to say the least but u tried to push myself

But today im a mess.

My supporter is more than frustrated and demands to know what is wrong with me. Idk i say. Dare i say ptsd..look it up!!! For the f n million and one time. I dnt think my supporter ever has read about it.
Anyway..
Just wondering. Now im like a little shell disassociating and walking on eggshells.
This feels familiar.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Are you sure he's a supporter? I'm not sure how someone can support something they know nothing about.

 

[illusionist]

I don't think my partner has read up on it either..I'm personally happy with that as he has learned to understand me, through myself. He does know what I need when I'm in a mess.....just to leave me alone..I told him in the early days that's what I need and he respects that. So to me, it's what he doesn't do that's important to me, at this time. I know he's got wide open arms when I'm ready to accept them, when I need them.

Maybe when you say to your partner that you don't know, he is concerned it's him/ your relationship? Maybe tell him it is Ptsd? I know I normally tell my partner that it's the past, just to make sure he knows exactly what is wrong and he is not left with any doubts.

 

[theotherside]

All i want is to be left alone in my own world right now and he pretty much forces family game night on me. I feel distgusting and angry and dissociated and guilty/ ashamed all at once. I feel URRGHH...

Anyone ever in this situation? Im probably close to snapping and making a big scene. And of course i will be the bad guy as always.

 

[Underdog]

I've been there many, many times. It took my husband a lot of resistance to finally read about PTSD. Partly because he is so busy, but partly I think because he thought he understood it when in fact there was a lot more to it than he knew, including his Experiencing secondary trauma reactions as a result of my own trauma and PTSD.

Even after he finally read up on PTSD, we still had many situations where he would push and push and push. It took me sitting him down and telling him every detail of what it is like to have PTSD, how it makes you feel, react, disassociate, etc... It also took him speaking with my therapist with my permission and him seeking out a therapist to understand and respect what is happening even more.

Hope that helps a bit.

 

[theotherside]

He is my supporter. But sometimes not that supportive. He has his own things to work on too. I think he meant well..as in he saw me slipping into the dark and wanted to distract me with family game night. It kind of worked..even though i dealt with anger and tearing up in the middle of it. It was hard to be upset while playing pictionary.
I know it must be hard and dissapointing for him when things are going smooth enough then i start going into full blown ptsd mode..its easier after some time to go back and have more understanding and appreciate what i do have