How Hard Is Living With PTSD ? Complicated PTSD.

[eileen]

Hi,

An effort at making a connection with someone who understands. How hard is living with PTSD? Complicated PTSD?

Diagnosed five years ago. I am a professional who was triggered into remembering dying at the hands of my mother who was giving me enemas to "purge me of the devil." Try living with that knowledge! At first I did not believe myself. I confronted her. She did not deny it nor did she help me feel she was sorry for what she did. I have a brother who suicided.

Child abuse is hard enough but to constantly be reminded, day by day, of your unfortunate life.

I hate pity but I also hate what this has done to my life. I might not have really been living before, locked away in my trauma from age nine on, but this is so much worse. Knowledge is not power when the knowledge is too hard to accept.

What awoke my memories? Delivering my daughter's baby, who died in my hands. So much for being a nurse. My whole life has been swept away and no one seems to have a cure.

Maybe I'll find it here.

 

[amethist]

Hi eileen

Welcome to the forum.

I have moved your post to it's own Introduction thread, as it does deserve one on it's own merit.

I am sorry to hear you have suffered in many different ways, and to loose your grandchild in this way must have been devastating for you both.

You will not find any pity here, but you will find understanding, support, help and advise. Unfortunately to date there is no cure, only recovery and management. I hope you find some useful information that can at least lesson some of your suffering.

Take care and good luck.

Amethist

 

[Deleted member 541]

Welcome to the forum....I won't sugar coat anything here. Living with PTSD is so difficult. It sucks, and yes you are reminded of it daily, over and over again in your head. Things trigger you. Sights, sounds, touch, verbal, hearing it comes from every aspect it can, to remind you of the trauma you once lived through..

BUT, there is hope, there is a way out of this living hell. It isn't easy, it is hard, it will take effort, determination, guts, and you will get sicker....BUT, if you keep going, you WILL, get better.........PTSD never goes away, there is NO CURE at this point in time, but working on facing your trauma, talking about it over and over again, writing it down over and over again, taking breaks when you can't stand it anymore, letting yourself rest and then starting the process all over again, is what you need to do...

BUT and a BIG BUT.......I recommend that you get a therapist/psychologist FIRST... You NEED to learn coping/grounding skills in order to proceed with working on your trauma of facing it.....

So yes, you can learn to live with PTSD, it will never totally go away, but after you work on what I have outline, in time you can learn to manage yourself in a much better way......

There are also many different types of therapy that you can choose from. CBT, EMDR, DBT, Exposure, ect......but only a therapist/psychologist can assist you with these....

 

[AdamAnt]

Welcome eileen. You don't mention your living situation, but DO clue those closest to you in on the effects this will have on them as well....PTSD can be taxing on your relationships and the more "damage control" you can do up front the better!

 

[pandora]

It is hard to deal with daily...I was in a professional occupation too as a nurse and I had to go off because of it. I think I might be able to go part time now but still am not sure. Are you able to still work?

 

[Iam]

Hi Eileen and welcome to the forum. I am so sorry for the trauma and tragedies you have had to endure. You will find lots of support here from fellow sufferers. You will also find articles that will help you understand PTSD and how to manage it. There are people here who will have similar stories, but even those of us who have different stories have to manage our PTSD in similar ways. Glad you found the sight and looking forward to getting to know you.

 

[safecracker]

I'm new here and from what I've read, I don't have a monopoly on living with someone with PTSD. About three years ago, my wife blew a gasket because I forgot to pick up my clothes from the bathroom floor after a shower. I chalked it up to "bad hair day" and went on. Long story short, a short time later I watched her hit herself in the head with a can of Lemon Pledge dusting stuff multiple times until the can was dented. That was supposedly triggered by my not verbally expressing my feelings enough and not "doing enough around the house".

I had the occasion to confide in a friend who is a family practice physician and he put her on some anti-anxiety meds which barely helped. She decided not to take them because she didn't like the way she felt. He tried some other meds to no avail.

In another outburst, she stated she wanted a divorce. My response to living with her short fuse for some time was, "Then go file!" Yes, that was a mistake and I apologized profusely, but I adamantly insisted that she get some help. She did seek a professional and we went together to the office visit. She explained some of the antics of her ex-husband who she affectionately refers to as "psycho-stalker". That coupled with growing up with a mother who was bi-polar and refused to get help at the time made my wife who she is. Now all I have to do is figure out ways to cope with her.