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How I Eventually Forgave My Deceased Father

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I agree. Thanks Micah and all others who have posted on this thread.

If we let the hatred, rage and anger continue, it sustains the power our perpetrator(s) we thought they had over us, even years after their deaths.

From dissecting my anger, I found that what I was really angry about wasn't so much what was done to me, it was that the image of how I thought I was as kid, and the good, normal and healthy life I could have had (like others), was destroyed forever (or so I thought for years) or taken away from me. If I had experienced a full recovery, it would have been nothing more than a temporary set back.

But the hatred and anger ate at me for decades and served absolutely no purpose but to reinforce the concept that I was helpless in recovering. Boy was I wrong!!!!!! Now, I've got the POWER! And only I can get it back and give it away again which I will never allow myself to do.

I still love and will always love my parents, - but I also hold them accountable fro what they did to us.

I promised the hero of my life - not me the adult who did all the work, and found success and triumph, but that poor defenseless child who was utterly overwhelmed and incapable of handling and understading the violence and intimidation constantly around him. To him, who asked me how could he possibly recover and try and make some of his dreams come true, to him I said: "Just watch us!!!!!!!!"
 
Johnny

All I am capable of saying is "WOW"!

Apparently, I have quite a lot to think about. However, I don't know if I am ready, willing
 
Well, Grama - as they - all in good time. I had to digest a lot of emotional pain and do a lot of soul searching to arrive at forgiving, but in retrospect, I saw that is a part that helped me heal, as my anger and bitterness was doing nothing to help me change (quite the opposite!). Plus he died when I was 16 and I felt he still had power over me decades later.
 
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