woundedsoul
Silver Member
My therapist confirmed my diagnosis of PTSD and she advised me to file for SSDI because she doesn't believe I can work. The problem is I have been a stay-at-home-mom for 18 1/2 years, ever since I got laid off and then became pregnant. My SSDI application will be denied because you need to have worked for 5 five consecutive years recently, which over course I have not. I was last insurable for SSDI in 1997 per the social security administration. So, I cannot collect. Fine. That is not the problem. The problem is that I am also being forced to file for Bankruptcy by my husband. He was fired in 2006 and didn't become gainfully employed again, until Oct. 2011. He filed bankruptcy prior to his forcing me to do so this March, but his was Dismissed because he didn't produce any of the required documentation and he failed to pay the Bankruptcy Plan. He told me none of this, the bankruptcy atty told me . Husband secretive and abusive regarding finances.
In order for my Bankruptcy Petition to not be dismissed, I "must earn wages or have some other source of regular income..." That is the law.
I do not work, have not worked for 18 years because I chose to be a stay at home mom. In 2009, I became disabled with PTSD. I do not believe I am capable of working outside of the the home at this time because of my disability and because I have a disabled son, who is 18, who was recently dx'd with bipolar disorder and requires almost 24 hr. supervision because of symptoms of his disability (he has been suicidal and many other very very serious symptoms) and I cannot leave him alone with his father because he severely verbally abuses him and even choked him twice on two seperate occassions approx. a year ago during arguments they were having. I immediately broke them apart both times.
I did work one year, over the past 18, part time for a local book store in 2005. At that time, my son would call me practically every night begging me to come home and/or begging me to tell his father to leave him alone and stop yelling and screaming at him. I very rarely ever left them alone his entire life, because his father would lose his temper and yell at him with little to no provocation. I do not feel he is safe home alone with his father who has a similar temper to him and they both explode constantly.
My son has a documented disability for his inability to control his moods and emotions and is now taking medication. He has been hospitalized 3 times since Oct. My husband doesn't believe he is disabled and thinks he is just manipulating all of us. He verbally abuses him, as he did 4 nights ago, saying, (pardon the vulgarity pls) "You're fkn gone aren't you? Youre acting like your fkn insane. What r u fkn 3? Smarten the f up... r u doing this shit for real or what? acting like a fkn 2yo. look at yourself! hey, (said son's name) look at yourself! He tells my son, "if it wasn't for her (me) you wouldn't even be living here." Then he goes upstairs saying, Oh, my god! Oh my god! Then he tells me within son's earshot, "He belongs in an institution."
That all occurred within a five min. time frame. This is not unusual, in fact, it is typical. I intervened and said to my husband, "Would you say all of that if he had cancer?" Told him to stop. Told him it was abuse and how horrible to say such things to a child who has problems regulating his moods and his emotions.
I CANNOT LEAVE THIS MAN ALONE WITH MY SON. I am required to get a job in order for the Bankruptcy to go through to prevent foreclosure on our home. My husband cannot afford to pay for the Bankruptcy repayment plan but refuses to sell! I have pleaded and begged for him to sell since he first got fired in 2006. He outright refuses. We would gain approximately 100K if we sold. He is irrational and emotionally attached to the home. When I say refuses, I mean will not budge. He will not sell and may make us all homeless.
He also has a tax bill of 25K which he cannot pay and is ignoring.
Needless to say I am devastated. I married this man in 1988, not knowing he would not file tax returns, abuse me and his disabled son and I have no money to divorce because I chose to be a stay-at-home mother. I am afraid to ever write the word divorce here because I am terrified he will start to come after me again, severely verbally abuse me and stalk me, like he did in 2009, when I had to get a restraining order on him because he would not stop abusing me.
Sorry this is so long. The only question I am asking for advice on is so, how the heck do I get a job when this is my life? How do you assess if you even can work? I had to collect a bunch of documents trying to apply for my son getting SSDI for his disability and I can only tell you, the confusion and difficulty I experienced, wherein, this used to be incredibly easy for me, was shocking to me and scary. I am confused and afraid. If I don't get the Bankruptcy approved in my name, we could become homeless because of my husband's irrationality and refusal to sell. I can't tell you how difficult it is to live like this. Constant stress, anxiety and worry, which causes unbeliveable PTSD symtoms to the point of exhaustion.
Well, again, sorry this is so long. Please tell me, how do each of you asses ability to work? Despite this novel, that is all I want answered. Thank you so much.
In order for my Bankruptcy Petition to not be dismissed, I "must earn wages or have some other source of regular income..." That is the law.
I do not work, have not worked for 18 years because I chose to be a stay at home mom. In 2009, I became disabled with PTSD. I do not believe I am capable of working outside of the the home at this time because of my disability and because I have a disabled son, who is 18, who was recently dx'd with bipolar disorder and requires almost 24 hr. supervision because of symptoms of his disability (he has been suicidal and many other very very serious symptoms) and I cannot leave him alone with his father because he severely verbally abuses him and even choked him twice on two seperate occassions approx. a year ago during arguments they were having. I immediately broke them apart both times.
I did work one year, over the past 18, part time for a local book store in 2005. At that time, my son would call me practically every night begging me to come home and/or begging me to tell his father to leave him alone and stop yelling and screaming at him. I very rarely ever left them alone his entire life, because his father would lose his temper and yell at him with little to no provocation. I do not feel he is safe home alone with his father who has a similar temper to him and they both explode constantly.
My son has a documented disability for his inability to control his moods and emotions and is now taking medication. He has been hospitalized 3 times since Oct. My husband doesn't believe he is disabled and thinks he is just manipulating all of us. He verbally abuses him, as he did 4 nights ago, saying, (pardon the vulgarity pls) "You're fkn gone aren't you? Youre acting like your fkn insane. What r u fkn 3? Smarten the f up... r u doing this shit for real or what? acting like a fkn 2yo. look at yourself! hey, (said son's name) look at yourself! He tells my son, "if it wasn't for her (me) you wouldn't even be living here." Then he goes upstairs saying, Oh, my god! Oh my god! Then he tells me within son's earshot, "He belongs in an institution."
That all occurred within a five min. time frame. This is not unusual, in fact, it is typical. I intervened and said to my husband, "Would you say all of that if he had cancer?" Told him to stop. Told him it was abuse and how horrible to say such things to a child who has problems regulating his moods and his emotions.
I CANNOT LEAVE THIS MAN ALONE WITH MY SON. I am required to get a job in order for the Bankruptcy to go through to prevent foreclosure on our home. My husband cannot afford to pay for the Bankruptcy repayment plan but refuses to sell! I have pleaded and begged for him to sell since he first got fired in 2006. He outright refuses. We would gain approximately 100K if we sold. He is irrational and emotionally attached to the home. When I say refuses, I mean will not budge. He will not sell and may make us all homeless.
He also has a tax bill of 25K which he cannot pay and is ignoring.
Needless to say I am devastated. I married this man in 1988, not knowing he would not file tax returns, abuse me and his disabled son and I have no money to divorce because I chose to be a stay-at-home mother. I am afraid to ever write the word divorce here because I am terrified he will start to come after me again, severely verbally abuse me and stalk me, like he did in 2009, when I had to get a restraining order on him because he would not stop abusing me.
Sorry this is so long. The only question I am asking for advice on is so, how the heck do I get a job when this is my life? How do you assess if you even can work? I had to collect a bunch of documents trying to apply for my son getting SSDI for his disability and I can only tell you, the confusion and difficulty I experienced, wherein, this used to be incredibly easy for me, was shocking to me and scary. I am confused and afraid. If I don't get the Bankruptcy approved in my name, we could become homeless because of my husband's irrationality and refusal to sell. I can't tell you how difficult it is to live like this. Constant stress, anxiety and worry, which causes unbeliveable PTSD symtoms to the point of exhaustion.
Well, again, sorry this is so long. Please tell me, how do each of you asses ability to work? Despite this novel, that is all I want answered. Thank you so much.
