How many have/had a mentally ill parent growing up?

[RRT13]

I grew up with a beligerent alcoholic father who was bipolar manic depressant. The only childhood memories I can think of are him pouting in a recliner or coming home beligerent drunk tearing up the house. He finally sobered up after my 4 year old sister died.
Funny how now he's this AA sponsor and is still narcissistic. Oh and a womanizer. Doesn't have much to do with me unless it makes him look like grandfather of the year to my kids.

 

[cat-lady]

Yeah, this is a pattern. Abuse by both my parents is what caused my ptsd and my parents both have mental illness. I've never heard a diagnosis for either of them but they're both pretty messed up. My father probably has some form of autism. My mother has something severe. I've heard a lot of guesses from people over the years about her - borderline, schizophrenia, etc. She's a heavy drug user and alcoholic and hallucinates a lot. I could never tell how much was natural and how much was because of the substance abuse.

 

[Deleted member 33052]

@Still Standing I can't imagine how difficult it must have been for you and your siblings to watch your mother's inner torment. :(

I've only recently begun to understand how deeply dysfunctional my parents both were. It helped me understand everything so much better

 

[Still Standing]

Yamamoto (Man! I like your new name. It makes me see you as a warrior.) It was only as an older adult and especially after mom's passing that I can more fully appreciate that mom was mentally ill. Otherwise, I saw her as mean, controlling, accusing, hateful, bitter, and unforgiving mother. As a young child, I didn't know anything was wrong with her. It was me that was wrong. I was her scapegoat and target of hate. It was only when I was exposed to other families, in high school, that I began to see her as sick. She had a miserable life. And there was no way that any of us kids could have helped her because of her extreme paranoia. It was hard. But, with what so many of you have been through, my experiences only meld in with yours. The hurts, rejections, hate, unforgiveness, abuses all boil down to the same thing...impacting trauma. We can all relate to each other through those two words. It is nice to have so many, here, that understand the inner turmoils and the desire to seek a bit of healing, on the same road to a better life. `

 

[Deleted member 33052]

You're right. They all do come down to the same thing. Like you, I couldn't see my mother's sickness. All I knew was that I lived in fear every moment, waiting for the hammer to come down.

It's awful when one is unable to find a safe space, isn't it? A tyrant on one side, and bullies on the other. It's no wonder I came out of it a fighter.

And thank you! After reading a book called Japan at War, I found Yamamoto quite inspiring. A brilliant, talented admiral tasked with winning an impossible war. He came close to succeeding.